Silence Is Too Much

[jacklee]

never thought it could be so completely quiet.
Live in small cul-de-sac which is normally quiet - but, on my own in the evening, the silence really gets to me.
OK play the radio - not much I fancy.
Keep the TV on - repeats.
A good book helps but there's nothing to match live conversation which is what's missing now I'm on my own.
If only chatterbank was audible!
Hope you are all well.

[Spoonboy]

Goodnight, jacklee.

[Connemmara]

sweet dreams jacky - conne - even "try some of them" and of course you do have your lovely family. goodnight

[ducksie]

good night,god bless, may tomorrow bring some positive thoughts

[pastafreak]

You *will* get used to it...but yes-it can be hard sometimes. I remember when I was first on my own after my marriage ended. Some nights the silence felt claustrophobic. I had to turn every light on. Even now...seven years on...I still have the TV on in the background,as I get absorbed in yet another book. That's what keeps me sane now...reading...escaping to another world.

[askyourgran]

Goodnight jacklee. x

[hc4361]

Now I know a bit more about you, jack, I understand your 'empty hours'.

You're doing the right thing going to your old clubs - keep it up. If you have any other interests see if there are any clubs or meetings locally that you could join.

You are obviously very able minded and comfortable with using computers. See if your local library hold 'silver surfer' classes for the clueless that you could volunteer to help with.

I don't know if the local lunch club would be your thing, but it is a nice, social occasion as well as a cheap meal. You might find the ideal chess or scrabble (or whatever interests you) partner to spend an evening a week with.

There are some great radio shows on BBC radio 2 that might interest you - I love Desmond Carrington on a Friday night playing old records I haven't heard for years, with informative chat.
Nicholas Parson's show Just a Minute is fabulous and a new series is about to start on BBC radio 4.

As well as AnswerBank there are forums that specialise in interests that you can join and 'chat' with other like minded people. They can become VERY absorbing and time consuming and you soon make 'friends'. I'm not suggesting that because you are 90 you must be obsessed with nostalgia but I bet there is a local history forum if that sort of thing interests you. Lots of 'Remember the Robinson's who had the corner shop' and 'what was the name of the Italian barber in the 50s' sort of discussions. If you have old photographs of the area they are always welcomed.

If you are physically active you could volunteer an hour or two a week. All sorts of possibilities there.

Would you consider writing your memoirs? Even if you intend nobody else to ever see them, it could be an absorbing and satisfying hobby especially during the long winter evenings.

You absolutely must have something to look forward to every day - even if it is a tv programme, a radio programme, a trip to the library to browse and borrow books, a visit with a neighbour, a favourite meal, a computer game, a snack in the local cafe or pub.

My mother can spend hours watching old tv clips (ITMA, Arthur Askey, Max Wall etc) on YouTube and videos of Frank Sinatra, Bobby Darrin et all singing their hearts out.

Nothing can beat the companionship of a loved one, but you must try and fill the massive gap. Good luck to you.

[Caran]

Jack lee, why don't you try U3A, lots of assorted people, lots of activities you can try if you wish. It was a life saver when we moved house and only knew family. Give it a whirl.

[lady-janine]

good moning jack.

just a quick thought - could you give your local adult education classes a consideration. they may have something to interest you and at least you will get to meet other people. x

[Maydup]

Thinking of you Jack and wish I could pop in for a natter.

Maybe in time you'll feel like inviting the neighbour in for a cup of tea or you'll find a local independent cafe where you can get to know the staff once a week.

Keep chatting on here though won't you, its amazing how quickly the time passes when you join in daft conversations. In the evenings I notice that one minute its 8pm and the next minute the 10 o'clock news is coming on.

[whiskeryron]

Hi jacklee, without giving too much away what area of the UK are you in ?

WR.

[arwyn]

Hi Jacklee, How are you? I've kept looking to see if you'd been on here since Minnie's funeral. I drove down Sandy Lane at 1.30pm on the day, not the time of the funeral I know but I said a little something for you.. I'm not normally on late at night but I always have a look to see if you've wrote anything.

Sit on here when your lonely with the T.V or radio on in the background. There'll always be someone for you to chat to.

Speak soon, take care Arwyn xx

[jacklee]

fao whiskeyron - and all of you for so many good ideas,

Whiskeyron I'm Geordie born and bred in canny Newcastle
Came down to Derbyshire in1963 for better job and have lived in little village with great amenities.
Still miss the seaside! Thought we might have gone back north when I retired in 1984 - but by then our family had grown and we didn't want to leave them.
Am feeling brighter today now that you have given me so much to think abut.
Thanks again.

[hc4361]

You don't have be a church goer to be involved in any church socials/events that may be on at your parish church hall, jack. They won't all be Bible thumpers, either.

Glad you're feeling perkier this evening, anyhooo.

[humbersloop]

jack, depending on what time you usually go to bed, you could have a look at the meteor shower tonight, you can see it from about 10.00


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/space/10240903/Time-lapse-captures-magic-of-Perseid-meteor-shower.html

[pixie373]

Hi Jack- just an idea, but as well as your clubs, you could do some volunteering. You are obviously used to visiting the home and there are many lonely people around who would love a chat with you. Why not speak to the staff you know and see if they have anyone suitable. Also, care agencies could do a half hour social call if you want some company. You don't have to "need" anything. Just a cup of tea and a chat and you'll get to know different staff. It doesn't have to be every day either. Once or twice a week, maybe, and see what you think.
We're all here for you x

[jacklee]

fao askyourgran

Was pleased to see you are researching your family tree.
Have spent years on mine but not done much recently.
Must get cracking again. Was member of Genesreunited but that now expired. Do you use Ancestry?
My maternal line is Scottish - with lovely Scottish names like Brown and Smith!
Nice one for the darker evenings.
Bye for now

[askyourgran]

Ha ha jack, my husband's surname is Green and his mother's name is Brown. The famiy have asked me if I fancy researching their tree. I have declined! It's a fascinating subject my own family are an interesting bunch I have got back to the late 1500's. It's taken a few years. I'm not a paying member of those sites now. Ancestry and Genes Reunited are getting a bit expensive, Familysearch is the main source for me and Mocavo have been helpful.
I've also answered your FAO thread to me.