I wish Ed. Mine try to climb on me, not to sit on my lap but to stand on my shoulders. They weigh a total of around 60+ kg so its no joke. Being calm with them just does not work, offering a quiet hidey hole doesn't work. When I stop them climbing on me, they will try to jump on chairs, tables, anything to get high. I spent last bonfire night(and quite a few before and after) with both dogs on leads, stood in a clear space in the middle of the room so that they couldn't hurt themselves. The one who is worst affected gets into such a state that he can't hear or acknowledge me. Zylkene helped a great deal but each dose costs 2 quid. I don't grudge a penny of it but sadly it seems to be becoming less effective with use. Apparently melatonin is very successful for dealing with all kinds of anxiety states in dogs and is growing in popularity in the US, so this year I will be trying that. I have used it already for some small thunderstorms and the effects were good but it is most effective when given before the event which of course you can't do with weather.
You have to be careful with the prescribed meds. With some dogs they don't remove the panic fear, just make the dog unable to express it in effect they still know what is going on and are scared by it but they are so doped up that the normal pacing hiding and so on is impossible.