Life's Never Dull Is It?

[Baldric]

Nipped out to Local Waitrose an hour or so back for a few bits and pieces, rounded the corner to the Fresh Produce counter to find a ZZ Top lookalike
'battering' the 12 year old (looking) Security Officer with a wet fish selected from the fish counter especially for that purpose by the look of it.
As the S/Officer was coming second, I took a firm grip on ZZ, placed his arm between his shoulder blades and asked him if he'd mind kneeling down facing the wall and crossing his legs behind him (it's a RM thing) as it's very
difficult to get up in a hurry from that position.
Police arrived about 5 mins later and I was greeted with "Hello Dave, I knew that would be you as soon as I saw your car outside, how's an old 'expletive deleted' like you manage to do that at your age?"
He then removed ZZ to the safety of the local nick, followed by me to give a statement.
The good news, A trolley load of Beer and Spirits as a freebee courtesy of the store manager, so not a bad day afterall.
;-)

[Baldric]

Thanks for the support guys, I must admit there was an element of fun
involved, and the S/Officer ended up looking like he was going in for a talent show with the fish-scales glittering all over his uniform.

[beejay1124]

repost in 'jokes' baldric -hilarious---and v well worded too ---great stuff