Shared Custody

[Leigh130]

My ex partner and I have always had a good arrangement for our daughter, he would have her on a Wednesday night and a Saturday tea time until Sunday tea time, this is when I wasn't working and she wasn't at school. Now she has started school we decided for routines sake and to ensure she is settled in one place on school nights, that She wouldn't stay with dad on Wednesdays anymore, this meant he would have her more at weekend but I have had to start working full time, 9-6 mon-fri and by the time I get home I have an hour with her before bed then it's weekend and she's off to see dad. I hate this so much as I can't cut my hours at work so I want her at weekend I just don't know what to do about it! I just feel guilty and she's become so clingy to with me and it's awful when it comes to going to daddy as she's excited but also upset because she misses me, the poor thing is so confused she wants to see daddy but wants to stay with mummy because she doesn't see me. I can see it in her face the reluctance to go as she walking out the door but at the same time really wanting to go. I need some help on what I can do to see her more but not stop daughter and daddy time! He takes her to school for me very day also.

[ummmm]

If he takes her to school then let him have her week nights.

A routine is a routine. It's not set in stone that she has to stay at yours Mon-Fri. As long as he sticks to homework and bedtime routine then I can't see any harm.

[woofgang]

Have you sat down and talked this over with her dad?

[pixie373]

Alternate weekends are more usual when children are school age. If you're working until 6, is there any weekday he could get her from school and take her out? Don't know his working hours.

[Cloverjo]

I was going to suggest alternate weekends, too.

[bednobs]

the problem i can see with alternate weekends is that effectively, the dad will be having his time cut in half, and may not want that, but i wonder if ummm's idea is a good one and could work for you?

[bednobs]

also, does the dad live close enough that you could each do one week on one week off?