Am I Too Late?

[EcclesCake]

It is Burn's Night in a week and I still haven't shot my haggis!

Is it too late to stalk, shoot, hang and skin a haggis and weave my plaid?

[flump1]

Due to the recent flooding Eccles, a number of haggis were seen doing the backstroke down the M8. You might get on better with a harpoon.

[atalanta]

If you can't find a haggis slow enough to shoot, try shooting some bagpipes instead. Trim the legs off the bag and stuff it with sausage meat and breadcrumbs. Noone will be able to tell the difference, I assure you.

[aelmpvw]

must be confusing for hunters if they come across a clockwise running haggis

[Graham-W]

What you need is a "Haggis Caller". Similar to a duck caller except when blown, it emits the sound of a female haggis on heat. Get ready with a net to catch the biggest and juiciest of the male haggi who will crowd towards you looking for their mate.
http://www.sipr.ac.uk/Whistlestop/haggis2.htm

[tamborine]

Secure Hadrians wall like Colditz ;p