Funny Letters Of Complaint

[rosyposy]

Some time ago someone on here posted a link to a site which was hilarious, the writer just went on and on really winding people up, I have tried to find it to no avail. I found David Thorne but I don't think it was him. I hope someone can help, could do with a good laugh:0) -rosy

[Peaspeculiars]

I can't remember what the author was called rosyposy, are you thinking of the one that has an octopus in on of his complaints?

Another fab wind-up one is: 'Delete this at your peril' by Bob Servant. He replies to all of the junk mail that says 'you have won £10 million' or 'You have been chosen to...' and it really had me laughing out loud - definately worth a look (on amazon/ ebay)

[rosyposy]

Thank you I will look at that peasepeculiars but I don't think it is that one, no octupus, I do remember something about renting an apartment (I think) and another about the neighbours security light -so funny -I know it is a long shot but AB usually comes up trumps -rosy

[mallyh]

it was in australia with the security light

[whiskeryron]

Is this the one ?


Genuine Council Complaints
extracts from letters sent to various Councils and Housing Associations throughout the U.K.


I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand.

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.

I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. We are getting married in September and she would like it in the garden before we move house.

Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

Would you please send a man to repair my spout. I am an old age pensioner and need it badly.

I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6a.m., his cock wakes me up and now it's getting too much for me.

The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.

Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

I have had the Clerk of the Works down on the floor six times, but I still have no satisfaction.

This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get BBC2.

My bush is really overgrown around the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

...and he's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take any more.

...that is his excuse for dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

[Peaspeculiars]

^ Thanks WRon, that made me chuckle :-)

[rosyposy]

Very funny whiskery ron,:o) thank you. I have had another look at David Thornes site and that is the one -hurrah! It had 27b/6 after his name which threw me a bit so I will be off to have a read -glad he isn't my neighbour tho', he really winds people up. Thank you all for your replies and help -rosy

[crapmemory]

http://www.dearcustomerrelations.com/

This is a really good website. Never fails to make me laugh!