About a boy

[what???]

Hey � I am so confused and feeling a little bit hurt at the mo and I'd like you to tell me honestly whether I'm being totally ridiculous so I can snap out of it or wallow in self pity if I'm not! I started this new job last year and this guy seemed to take an immediate fancy to me, hanging around waiting for me to appear etc. Problem is he told me straight away that he has a girlfriend who he's been with for 2yrs and who he's completely in love with. I therefore relaised that this was not an attraction thing and more that he simply liked my personality which sounds quite nice doesn't it? Unfortunatly I promptly fell in love with him! I knew nothing could happen so settled for the next best thing � having him as a friend. Anyway we were getting on really really well and he was always so keen to see me � texting me all the time, calling me for big long phone calls, inviting me to stay over at his house, inviting me to parties, always hugging me and telling me I was the only other person except his girlfriend who he felt he could talk to. I in turn told him quite lot of personal things about me too. Even though I knew he didn't feel the same way about me as I do about him, I still enjoyed his company and the attention of course! But for the past three weeks or so he's pretty much totally ignored me. He dones't hang around to 'bump' into me anymore, he hasn't text apart from in reply to a text I sent him, and he didn't invite me round to his house at the time I've been going round every week for the past few months. I sent him a text asking him (in a sort of joky way) whether he's just been busy, or whether he's got bored of me or something but he just text back in a flippant way saying he's been a bit busy and then changed the subject to something really banal. . .

[shivvy]

Maybe his girlfriend has found out how close your relationship is and has given him an ultimatum ie it's either her or me.

If it is that then you need to try looking at things from her angle. For example, imagine that you are going out with a guy for 2 years and then found out that he was continuously texting, phoning, hugging a woman at work? I can't imagine it would feel too good.

It sounds like the two of you were pushing your relationship just about as far as you could within the boundaries of a friendship and just stopping short of actually crossing the line into two-timing territory.

This might not be the issue at all but whatever is happening, he is sending you some pretty clear messages at the minute.

If I were you I would back off and see what happens. If he is not interested he will make it clear to you. If he is interested then he needs to sort things out with his girlfriend.

I hope things work out for you. Let us know what happens.

Shivvy