I Don't Wish To Keep On About Mic.......

[Jeza]

But this truly saddened me today.

He has a 2 handled beaker. I left him drinking his coffee while I did a couple of jobs. When I went back in to him he had dropped the cup and he was wet through. Fortunately he wasn't burnt. I asked him why he hadn't called me and he said because he was frightened. When I asked what he was frightened of he said you. This really upset me. After I composed myself I asked why he was frightened of me. He said he didn't know. I look after Mic like a mother looks after her baby I make sure he is clean and dry as well as feeding him. I buy his favourite foods and sweeties. Since his stroke I have never so much as raised my voice to him. When he gets in a mess I tell him it doesn't matter (even though I fell sick to my stomach) and I will soon have him clean again.So why did he say what he did. This has been gnawing at me all day.
Does anyone have any experience of this? Thanks for listening.

[DTCwordfan]

(there is the Angel in Midhurst - used that for corp meetings in the past as to staff executions!).

[pixie373]

Exactly woofgang, they are supposed to find out what mic and jeza want and help them to achieve it in the best way- not tell them what they "need" to do.

[EcclesCake]

Jeza, I'm not surprised by your reply, I meant no ill.

Woof, my comments are from my own first hand experience.

DTC, I've surprised myself, they are the areas I'm trawling through in my tired and foggy mind. I'll get back to you tomorrow.

[woofgang]

Mine too, Eccles, mine too.

[DTCwordfan]

ta......

[Jeza]

Thanks woogang, you clearly know where I'm coming from

Eccles I'm sure you meant no ill will. Mic and I are approaching our 35th wedding anniversary, you don't throw that away when we have been through so much together.

[paddywak]

First of all jeza let me say you must be a pretty special person to be managing like you do,but isn't there some body who can help you out even if only for a couple of hours every now and then just so you can have a little "me"time? Doesn't Mic have any family who can help you out once in a while because if you're not careful you'll be ill yourself then where will we be?

[Jeza]

Divebuddy, no one is an outsider on AB. Join in with everyone. Laugh with them, cry with them and have fun with them.

Thankyou for your input on this thread. Nothing is too much for me when it comes to Mic.

[Jeza]

Paddy, No family at all. We both had at one time but no longer. Friends, they can't be real friends when they stop calling when the going gets tough can they It sounds like I'm feeling sorry for my self, I'm not I feel more sorry for them.

[sherrardk]

Jeza, I'm pretty sure I've said before that you will be of no use to Mic if you get ill too. You need some time, however short, to have a break. I only looked after himself for about two months (tops) and he was mobile, etc - it was the mental exhaustion/worry that did my head in (oh, and the tablets every three hours). Maybe you need to be looking to the future a bit, you can't carry on without a break indefinitely (I'm not saying you should put Mic in a home). Is there a support network of some kind that you could access (maybe on the net), where you could speak to people in a similar position to see what your options are for getting some extra help so that you can have a little break (even a couple of hours a week)? In the meantime, come on here and vent some steam – there's always someone to speak to.

[EcclesCake]

I am tired and not sure I am expressing myself quite as well as I had intended although I am sure my position is only based on what I have read here.

At no point did I mean to suggest you should throw away your years of marriage, I'm really not sure where you got that idea from.

I was trying to suggest that having some respite care is good for both parties. There are some very, very good organisations out there that are staffed by kind people, many of whom have cared for their own loved ones and want to extend their care to others.

[flump1]

Jeza, you are an inspiration. You say you are only doing what anyone would do but I don't believe that. Many people are not in a position to care for their loved one at home.
Mic may have lost a bit of the lady he married when you became his carer. He might be afraid of the future , your future .
Try as others have said, not to dwell on it. Sending you both big hugs. xx

[Jeza]

Eccles, I'm sure you mean well. When Mic's carers arrive to DO he insists I stay with him and I understand why. In the past when left with them he has been spoken to and treated badly. I could not leave him for even an hour until he gets at least a little confidence back

[murraymints]

Anyway have a good night's sleep jeza...tomorrow is another day..xxx

[lady-janine]

have been there a few times DTC was quite good but must admit it was a while ago.

apologies for interrupting jeza. sorry.