Age Gap

[SarahW]

I'm in a weird situation. I have been single for a very very long time. Think 20 years. I just don't seem to attract men, although I have lots of friends. I've become close to a chap recently and we are spending a lot of time together. Thing is, he is 27 and I am 45. We are completely different education-wise but seem to get on like a house on fire. We are just friends at the moment, but I keep wondering if there could be anything more. Am I kidding myself though- he has said he wants 3 children in the future. Should I try and see him just as a friend even though my gut tells me otherwise?

[Maydup]

Well, i met my husband when I was 27 and he was 45. Otherway round I know and we each had all the children we wanted, but we are now 53 and 71 and still going strong! Go by your instinct but keep it real, eg if he wants kids be realistic.

[Old_Geezer]

You will regret the things you didn't try more than those you did that didn't go to plan. I'm not saying the odds are good but if you don't test the water then you'll never know. He may not see an issue, and if he does he can politely explain he only wants to be friends.

[boxtops]

Sarah - go for it. That's an 18-year difference, but so what? I'm 14 years older than my husband, it's not a problem for us at all. It's who you are - and that you get on together - which is important!

[jakep]

The age gap is not a problem but him wanting children is.
There is nothing to stop you seeing where it may go though. Good luck.

[237SJ]

Enjoy your relationship for what it is but don't get your hopes up and don't allow yourself to get hurt. It's one thing when the man is a lot older than the woman but quite another thing when it is the other way around - especially if he wants kids.

[woofgang]

Relationships at any age and age gap are going to have issues and even people who are the same age can have different views about children and then change their minds. Go for it, take your time, don't rush and best wishes.

[ubasses]

Can I play Devils Advocate! Do you think he may suspect that you feel more, and telling you about his desire for children in the future is his way of being kind, but letting you know he is not interested in anything more than friendship.

[Scarlett]

Ubasses yes I did wonder that. The night when he mentioned family and wanting 3 kids, he was slightly off with me too, not rude, just a bit distant. Since then though things have been fine and he has said "if I have kids one day" rather than "when".

[boxtops]

Scarlett, are you the same person as SarahW (the OP)?

[ubasses]

He may have been slightly distant that night as he was worried about how he would broach the subject and bring it into the conversation, and maybe any reaction from you. Now it is done, he has relaxed and back to his 'old self' and talking/behaving more naturally.

[anneasquith]

2 women 1 man ?