When Was The Last Time....

[NoMercy]

You made a huge faux pas??

My ex, with whom I'm still good friends, is taking me out for dinner tonight (his turn to pay).

We were emailing each other to finalise details and I asked, "How are things with Rachel?"

His girlfriend's name is Sharon. Rachel is someone he'd rather forget.

Oops.

[Dizmo]

Baz: Blo.ody hell 'expensive to run', how are you still together... she doesn't check answerbank does she?

[ummmm]

Steve lol.

[Dizmo]

You call your youngest 'Steve'?

[ummmm]

Sometimes. I also call him Claire.....I'm rubbish with names

[Dizmo]

Ummmm: He has character, he doesn't mind! Next time call him Jiles - I like that name :)

[Dizmo]

So when you met me at the train station, you just guessed my name was Stuart lol

[ummmm]

Will do :-) I won't tell him why.....

(I have a new tablet that I'm just learning to use)

[ummmm]

I don't think I've ever called you Stuart :-)

[Dizmo]

Actually no, you call me Dizmo, which is really weird as it was when receiving Janbee's and JennyJoans cheque and my step dad calling me Dizmo.

[mikey4444]

Earlier this year I was invited to dinner with some slight acquaintances, rather than close friends. I arrived at about 1930, thinking that would be in enough time for 2000, but found out that it was all over at 1230 and there wasn't any left and "why didn't I turn up on time ? "

Oh dear....must get my lunches, teas, and dinners sorted out properly next time !

[Peter Pedant]

Oh I dunno

a fren' said to me: 'I want you to see Peter, he started drinking again... '
and I said, 'I'm Peter and I dont drink that much.'
and he said, 'yeah right I want you to see .... '

without turning a hair

[-Talbot-]

Make them?

Never, I buy all my patisseries from the local cake shop.

[granny grump]

I worked with a chap who was with wife no3 and he had 3 daughters. We were out on a job and he mentioned all 6 women/girls during the day. Wife no1/2/3 youngest/middle/oldest daughter. I said to him at the end of the day - you haven't mentioned a name once and he said no it's safer!

[Barmaid]

OK, I win on timing. Someone really annoyed me today. i mean REALLY. About 30 mins ago I emailed my mother to give her some brief details and explained that some industrial language may have been used. She emailed me back. I thought she wanted me to tell her what the industrial language was. A nano second after explaining I wanted to rip someone's head off and **** down their neck I realised I had misread it. I sent a quick "Ignore my last email", but it was too late. Consequently I shall be washing my mouth out with soap (or scrubbing my fingers quite hard) for the next 6 months.

[Peter Pedant]

well - well done barmaid !

I have just come out of hospital and emailed my family and a childhood friend that such things should make everyone revise and review their wills ( topical huh barmaid ? ) and got a very squinty email back from the frenz wife saying that she had been getting the emails instead of him and didnt much like the tone of them.... [ I think the phrase - near death experience has really got on her t+ts ]

I felt like saying - atta girl you have been warned - but as you know some people are very mimsy and say oh we dont talk about such things ...

[237SJ]

I`m very careful what I say to people nowadays since I asked the woman who was with Mervyn King if she was his PA and she said "No, I`m the Deputy Governor of the Bank of England"