Child's Funeral

[EcclesCake]

I have one to got to, no question really but I am dreading it and cannot imagine the pain the parents are going through.

I am not wanting to see that tiny coffin, it is bad enough when the full size ones are brought into the church/crem - I always well up at that moment.

Sorry, feeling flat and cannot lift myself out of the mire.

Any coping strategies you can recommend?

[marval]

I have never been in that position, it is not an easy thing to have to do.

My thoughts are with everyone at this difficult time.

[RATTER15]

Many moons ago when I was a grave digger, I didn't bat an eyelid at having to dig a childs grave, after the funeral I had to go and backfill it, I took one look into the grave and saw this tiny coffin, I could not bring myself to throw soil on top of it. The undertaker came over to me after the funeral as usual to give me my tip, usually a couple of quid, this time he gave me a £5er and he backfilled it himself.

[tonyav]

I can well understand that, RATTER.

[boxtops]

Eccles, it's a horrid situation. Be there for the parents and family in their grief - that's all you can do. x

[rockyracoon]

:'(

[Dee Sa]

20 years ago I went to my grandson Zachary's funeral, he died of a cot death at 29 days old, my eldest, son his father carried the little white coffin into the church in his arms I shall never forget that. I did not see Zachary alive or hold him in my arms as I lived in Dubai and flew back for the funeral.

[EcclesCake]

That must have been so awful for you Dee Sa.

I just know I will go to pieces when I see the coffin.

[cupotee2]

What a dreadful situation...I can only say be there for the parents not just on the funeral day but keep as close a contact.

I don't know how I would get through this sort of situation but just reading this thread has bought a lump to my throat.

Take care Eccles. xx

[MargoTester]

Eccles - I have been in the same position myself. All you can do is attend the funeral(as you are) speak to the parents if you have the chance, and then continue to support them in the future. so many people cannot face the situation and don't like to 'intrude' and the parents feel isolated. I came to an arrangement with my friend whereby I rang her and if she did not feel like talking she said so and she then rang me when she felt like talking. Take plenty of tissues.

[whiskeryron]

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

[guilliebrougues]

eccles cake just go and pay your respects. Say goodbye to the child. If you break down and cry you will not be alone.

[hau kola]

My niece lost her 2 children.
The funeral was horrendous for all of us but especially for her.
My coping strategy.....i don't remember but a swift tot of something strong doesn't go amiss.