What would you do?

[coggles]

If a good friend of yours said they were going to end their life, what would you do?

[monkeyfish]

so my last answer has come up with someone else name on it, never mind. inci, if youve been taken of member list, that implies someones at their pc doing something. treaclefight is openning a 'chat' on yahoo im, find me if you want.

[coggles]

Thank you Monkeyfish, are you a bok member? If so, who do I IM?

[coggles]

Treacle, don't know if you have my details to IM, but BB, SFT, Robbber etc will have them. Hope you are ok.

[robber1]

All you can do is to be there for them, but dont be dragged down as well. I became someone that scared the hell out of me, because of such a person. I am still waiting to hear from him, and will help if at all possible, but there comes a time when self preservation comes first.Recenly people tried to help me, but at the time I was unaware of it, because I stopped listening. Not a deliberate action, but a symptom of the cause. Only now do I realise how close I came to self destruct, and therefore those who were trying to help could not have blamed themselves if I had done so. I was not taking in anything they said. The same, I think, applies to the person in question here. He has stopped listening and all we can do is wait for him to return. Not in the physical sense you understand. I now take no responsibilty for an unstable mind and will not take on his guilt.You must all do the same. Sounds rich coming from me after recent events I know, but thanks to everyone who tried. Trying is all we can do. There isnt anything else we can do. :o)

[brawburd]

TW, I am sorry to sound uncaring because I am very far from it. I don't know if you have had any expereince of anyone close to you and suicide (or threats of). You may feel differently. I would do ANYTHING within my ability to stop someone. I don't think anyone here is saying otherwise. But, there comes a point when you have to think of your own survival - otherwise two people are lost. Hope that makes sense. Don't want to go into personal details here, just be assured no-one wants anything to happen to a person in such depression.

[robber1]

TW; Most of the postings on this are from people who actually know about each other and also the case in question. We are unable to expand fully in order to respect the rules of AB and the privacy of the person concerned. This is of course the right way, but I feel certain that if you knew the exact detail you would understand our feelings. Sorry we cannot tell you more. Regards :o)

[treaclefight]

and now it turns out he's fine, i hope you wont let him put you through this again. big hug from me for the nasty learning curve you've just been on, mail me, i know what the fallout of this sort of thing is like too.

[coggles]

Thank you everyone for your concern. As Treacle said, he is OK now, panic over. I shall try not to get so wound up in future, but it is part of my nature to take on other peoples troubles! Are you coming back Treacle? I have your e-mail add now, (thanks BB and SFT) so will contact you soon. Look after yourself, coggles.

[Janetex]

coggles, you get as wound up as you like, the world needs more people like you.

[ANUSHIKA]

tell them to get a grip.If they are talking it about it then it is not very likely they are going to do it.Life is to short and to precious so they should stop talking like that and stop being so selfish by putting this on you and making you worry.

[archhippy]

Hi i am coming from a personel view point so ab ed please dont change this. My mum died six years ago, commiting suicide was not nice as we did not know she felt that way. im shore if she had asked some one to listen things may be differnt all i can say is sit with your friend talk to them be there when they want to talk they in the end they have free will and it is there choice but if they are not of sound mind then try and get them proffesional help. all you can do is be there.

[coggles]

Thank you for being so open doodlebug. It is a difficult situation, knowing how to ask them to get help without hurting their feelings.

[archhippy]

Free will, it is there choice, well thats what they have been saying in answer to your question. dont ignore them they have sound advice but many dont have first hand experiance if people had listened for her cry things may have been differnt. i have helped other people in that situation and listening was all i could do it helped in someways my freind is still here just be there and if they feel like really opening up and find you to close to them to put you through that torment then help them find the help and advice they need. how is your freind any way?

[coggles]

doodlebug, my pc has been down for a day or so and I haven't managed to speak to them. I have seen a couple of messages this morning and he seems much better, thankfully. I shall be around for any friend who needs a shoulder to cry/lean on - because that's me!

[archhippy]

Good to hear that if you ever need a ear to be listened to with, the ab community is here hey maybe your friend could join ab it allways cheers me up when im down and that way we all can be there!!