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albaqwerty

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albaqwerty

Something For The Weekend Sir?

A young Glasgow lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. "Do you have any sales experience?" asked the manager. "The famous Barras mate?", nodded the young man. The manager liked the...
20:01 Sat 05th Sep 202013 answers, last by JimF 13:37 Sun 06th Sep 2020
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albaqwerty

Candle Power

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, ‘Top o’ the mornin’ To ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan And didn’t I marry ye and yer Hoosband...
10:03 Tue 01st Sep 20204 answers, last by jno 22:13 Tue 01st Sep 2020
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albaqwerty

Pocket Watches Problem

friend has a couple of pocket watches, but the main springs are 'jammed' Anyone have any idea if they can be unjammed and what with or is it not worth it? Many thanks....
13:43 Fri 28th Aug 20206 answers, last by sanmac 23:28 Fri 28th Aug 2020
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albaqwerty

No Flies On The Duck

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!"...
22:01 Thu 20th Aug 20203 answers, last by richtee 20:56 Fri 21st Aug 2020
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albaqwerty

Drive-Thru Cash Machines

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this...
22:20 Tue 04th Aug 20207 answers, last by aelmpvw 09:44 Sun 09th Aug 2020
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albaqwerty

Blood Pressure Home Machines

Having read on a different thread about how reasonably priced they are, are they and can they be as reliable as the ones at surgery and hospital? I hope so....
10:37 Tue 28th Jul 202016 answers, last by Buenchico 16:40 Tue 28th Jul 2020
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albaqwerty

Fao Jourdain2

With regards to face coverings/masks problems/issues for both yourself and Mr J2, I've no idea if any of these might be of help or worthy of consideration :- From the Rail Insider website about...
21:13 Wed 15th Jul 2020
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albaqwerty

Breaking News

A psychic dwarf has escaped from Greenock prison. That's right, there's a small medium at large....
13:52 Sat 06th Jun 20206 answers, last by Chipchopper 14:15 Sun 07th Jun 2020
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albaqwerty

Among The Horrific Shootings

in the US, here's another one. Stuff of nightmares....
00:57 Fri 05th Jun 20204 answers, last by iluvmargie 15:21 Fri 05th Jun 2020
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albaqwerty

Falcon 9 Rocket

should be visible over the UK 15 minutes after launch. About 9.51pm according to this...
20:10 Wed 27th May 202011 answers, last by sherrardk 20:23 Wed 27th May 2020
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albaqwerty

Psychiatrists Film Club

With a nod to Martin Kelner. What titles of films would appeal to psychiatrists? I'll try Withnail and Id Jung Frankenstein What do you think? :-D...
09:59 Tue 26th May 202027 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:54 Tue 26th May 2020
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albaqwerty

Odd Mixture

What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? Tequila mockingbird....
00:03 Sun 24th May 20205 answers, last by gness 00:31 Sun 24th May 2020
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albaqwerty

Food Inspector

Whilst checking on a bakery factory, the food inspector was horrified to find Paddy using his teeth to crimp the apple pies. ''Have you not got a tool for that??!!'' shrieks the inspector. ''Yes''...
23:04 Sat 23rd May 20203 answers, last by marval 13:04 Sun 24th May 2020
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albaqwerty

Labour And Political Capital

Surely not? https://www.politicshome.com/news/article/labour-mp-who-returned-to-work-at-care-home-during-coronavirus-pandemic-sacked-for-speaking-out-on-ppe-shortages As you can see from the blurb in...
11:16 Thu 07th May 20208 answers, last by Spicerack 08:08 Fri 08th May 2020
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albaqwerty

Another Biker's Tale

While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a...
23:35 Wed 06th May 20202 answers, last by marval 14:33 Thu 07th May 2020
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albaqwerty

Alice

Me : I've just been bitten by a Great Dane when I was in the park. Her: Oh my gosh, what if it had been a small child?!!! Me: I could have fought off a small child, Alice.......
23:10 Wed 06th May 20204 answers, last by waterboatman 05:32 Thu 07th May 2020
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albaqwerty

Not An Irishman In Sight

Englishman: "That your dog?" Welshman: "Aye" Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?' Welshman: "Dog don't talk.” Englishman: Hey dog, how's it going?" Dog: "Doing all right." Welshman: (look of shock)...
20:52 Mon 04th May 20205 answers, last by Patsy33 21:12 Mon 04th May 2020
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albaqwerty

What's What

Paddy walks into his local butchers and asks for a pound of “what's what”. The butcher, puzzled by this request, informs the man that they don't sell “what's what”. So Paddy leaves, only to come back...
22:21 Mon 27th Apr 20204 answers, last by aelmpvw 10:54 Tue 28th Apr 2020
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albaqwerty

Yesterday

I met a girl who runs a battery kiosk in our local park. She sells 'C' cells down by the seesaw....
23:39 Sun 26th Apr 202017 answers, last by marval 21:25 Mon 27th Apr 2020
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albaqwerty

An Old Woman

A old woman prospector shuffled into a town leading a mule . The old woman headed straight for the only saloon to clear her parched throat . She walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching rail ....
23:34 Fri 17th Apr 20209 answers, last by marval 14:02 Sat 18th Apr 2020

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