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BANANASPLITS

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BANANASPLITS

What Do You Call...

What do you call a fat psychic? Four-chin teller....
12:29 Wed 28th Nov 20186 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 15:44 Wed 28th Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

I Was Sitting On The Sofa...

I was sat on the sofa next to my wife last night when my hands started to roam and she began to giggle. After a few minutes she said, "That felt really nice, why did you stop?" I replied, "Because I...
20:43 Tue 27th Nov 201811 answers, last by Hopkirk 13:06 Wed 28th Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Window Cleaner....

There are so many boarded up houses in Liverpool, that the window cleaner goes round with a sander...!
16:58 Tue 27th Nov 20185 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 18:59 Tue 27th Nov 2018
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Every Morning....

Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed. Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of crap back to Ikea....
12:01 Mon 26th Nov 201810 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 18:56 Mon 26th Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Old Man....

A 90 year old man was sitting on a park bench crying. A passer by asked him "what is the problem"? He said" I have a Swedish 25 yr old wife we have sex twice before breakfast once in the afternoon and...
17:28 Sun 25th Nov 20181 answer, last by Patsy33 18:14 Sun 25th Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Gypsy Woman....

I went on a date with a gypsy woman traveller last night. She asked me if I wanted to go back to hers for a good time... She wasn't kidding. I went on the dodgems, waltzers, ghost train and came home...
13:33 Sun 25th Nov 20185 answers, last by Canary42 17:32 Sun 25th Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

A Farmer Goes To The Cinema...

A farmer decided he wanted to go to town and see a movie. As he approached, the ticket agent asked, “Sir, what’s that on your shoulder?” The old farmer said, “That’s my pet rooster Chuck....
16:00 Sat 24th Nov 20181 answer, last by Patsy33 17:18 Sat 24th Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

A Rejection Letter....

I got a rejection letter from the origami university today.. I'm not sure what to make of it!...
13:03 Thu 22nd Nov 20186 answers, last by Patsy33 17:44 Sun 25th Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

New House.....

I once tried to buy a house on an old Indian reservation. When I asked if it came with running water, he told me to sod off and find my own wife!...
08:50 Thu 22nd Nov 201818 answers, last by Patsy33 12:48 Thu 22nd Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Back To The Doctors...

I went back to the doctor today. ...I said, " I applied the haemorroid cream that you gave me this morning and I got a very nasty reaction, ".....where actually did you apply it? " He asked. ...I...
19:36 Wed 21st Nov 201813 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 10:22 Thu 22nd Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Black Friday Deals?

Just bought new mobile phone on black Friday deal from currys New galaxy s9 saved £170 happy bunny here....anyone planning to buy anything via black Friday?...
16:08 Wed 21st Nov 201821 answers, last by retrocop 19:18 Wed 21st Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Tv In Afghanistan....

Why aren't people in the Afghanistan allowed to watch TV? Because of the telly ban....
16:27 Tue 20th Nov 201814 answers, last by Togo 20:09 Tue 20th Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Mallyh....

best time to go to the dentist is tooth hurty in the afternoon ! you'll be ok mallyh xx soon be over...
11:34 Tue 20th Nov 20188 answers, last by marval 22:21 Tue 20th Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Car Sticker......

I saw a car with a sticker saying, "I am a vet therefore I can drive like an animal". Suddenly I realised how many how many Gynaecologists there are on the road !...
19:49 Mon 19th Nov 20183 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 20:41 Mon 19th Nov 2018
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Rip....

The inventor of the snooze button has passed away... His funeral will take place tomorrow at 10:00am, 10:09am, 10:18am, 10:27am and 10:36am!...
13:00 Mon 19th Nov 20184 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 16:53 Mon 19th Nov 2018
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Phew I Need To Sit Down....

Just had a near miss accident on the motorway a lorry swerved in front of me it said gillette on the side of the lorry. Phew that was a close shave!...
15:20 Sun 18th Nov 20189 answers, last by Ken4155 09:03 Mon 19th Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Obsession. ....

My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with the Beatles and she's gone to the Isle of Wight. Yeah, She's got a ticket to Ryde....
10:53 Sat 17th Nov 20183 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 12:29 Sat 17th Nov 2018
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Divorce...

I have just divorced my cross eyed wife. We didn't see eye to eye. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side!...
18:53 Fri 16th Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

I Went On A Date Last Night!

I went on a date with a blonde woman last night. "Do you have any kids?" she asked. "Yes," I replied. "I have one child that's just under two." She said, "I might be blonde, but I know how many one...
18:28 Fri 16th Nov 20182 answers, last by zebo 12:20 Sat 17th Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Cricket Team...

I used to be the cricket captain for the "everest windows" cricket team. I was an opener!...
16:48 Fri 16th Nov 20186 answers, last by DTCwordfan 17:50 Fri 16th Nov 2018

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