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BANANASPLITS

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BANANASPLITS

Theresa May!

Theresa may on the phone to ikea.."hello I need a new cabinet"...
20:57 Thu 15th Nov 201813 answers, last by spathiphyllum 15:07 Fri 16th Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Worst Joke Ever.....!

Brexit!!!!
10:11 Thu 15th Nov 20185 answers, last by david small 19:00 Thu 15th Nov 2018
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A Young Woman....

A young woman from Portsmouth was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the sea, but just before she could throw herself from the wharf, a handsome young man stopped...
08:17 Thu 15th Nov 20185 answers, last by Patsy33 11:57 Thu 15th Nov 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Tv Licence...

If you refuse to pay your TV licence, you can be sent to prison. Where, ironically, you can watch plenty of BBC for nothing!...
17:34 Wed 14th Nov 20182 answers, last by Patsy33 17:36 Wed 14th Nov 2018
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Nightwatchman.....

I have recently been employed as a nightwatchman by a security firm owned by my ex girlfriend. My wife is furious that I still carry a torch for her ....
12:01 Wed 14th Nov 201811 answers, last by Patsy33 14:58 Wed 14th Nov 2018
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Marmite Sprouts

Cant wait to try these https://www.google.com/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2018/11/13/iceland-launches-marmite-brussels-sprouts-and-we-are-horrified-8134786/amp/...
20:02 Tue 13th Nov 201848 answers, last by mccfluff 13:18 Wed 14th Nov 2018
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Fairy Tales....

"Daddy? Do all fairy tales begin with "once upon a time"?" "No", I replied. "There are a whole series of fairy tales that begin with "If elected, I promise...""...
17:02 Tue 13th Nov 20184 answers, last by Patsy33 18:55 Tue 13th Nov 2018
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Two Women Playing Golf....

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his...
10:43 Tue 13th Nov 201814 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 14:44 Tue 13th Nov 2018
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In A Lift....

I got a lift to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son." "Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad." He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up,...
13:40 Mon 12th Nov 201810 answers, last by zebo 08:33 Tue 13th Nov 2018
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Food Mixer.....

I went round to Barbie's house last night and asked if she could recommend a good food mixer... She said no, but Ken would!...
18:00 Sun 11th Nov 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 18:36 Sun 11th Nov 2018
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Ikea.....

I just bought a suppository from ikea. I had to put it up myself!...
11:44 Sun 11th Nov 20187 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 13:45 Sun 11th Nov 2018
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Dog Walker....

I’ve just started a new job working as a professional dog walker and it’s so easy. It’s a walk in the park....
19:28 Sat 10th Nov 20189 answers, last by VictorHugo 11:50 Fri 16th Nov 2018
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In Foreign News Today

Barcelonas oldest serial flasher died today in his retirement home he died of a stroke just the way he wanted to go! RIP sènor willy .......
17:32 Sat 10th Nov 20185 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 19:10 Sat 10th Nov 2018
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Last Night.....

Last night I thought it would be funny to try and impress people by pulling the cloth from a table without breaking anything... Far from being impressed, the members of the snooker club have banned me...
09:00 Sat 10th Nov 201817 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 18:01 Sat 10th Nov 2018
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My Wife Said....

My wife says I only have 2 faults. One I don't listen I've forgotten the other one...
20:33 Fri 09th Nov 20183 answers, last by zebo 17:16 Sat 10th Nov 2018
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In My Local Cafe Earlier....

...
19:09 Fri 09th Nov 201824 answers, last by Spicerack 10:04 Sat 10th Nov 2018
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Just Wrote A Book...

Just finished writing a book about basements. My publishing company reckons it'll be a best cellar!...
20:06 Thu 08th Nov 201810 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:51 Thu 08th Nov 2018
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Little Johnny......

  A teacher asks the class to name big words that eat things and end in "TOR". The first little boy said "Alligator". The teacher replied "Very good that is a very clever example". Tne second little...
17:16 Thu 08th Nov 20184 answers, last by retrocop 18:13 Thu 08th Nov 2018
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Women?

Women have only 2 problems: 1. Nothing to wear 2. Not enough room for their clothes...
11:18 Thu 08th Nov 20184 answers, last by Tilly2 16:11 Thu 08th Nov 2018
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70 Yr Olds...

Two 70 yr olds are sitting on a park bench talking . 1st man says "you know..I sure feel my age lately I ache all over and find it hard to get about" The other man said "wow I feel like a newborn no...
18:38 Wed 07th Nov 20185 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 20:24 Wed 07th Nov 2018

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