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BANANASPLITS

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Tilly2
Bashed yourself on the head with your hairdryer? Got the styling brush entangled, painfully, in your hair and had to resort to scissors? Burned your ear with the hot curling tongs? Poked yourself with...
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marval
My friend has been arrested for shop lifting. I was really surprised. I didn't know he was that strong....
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maggiebee
The man who invented auto correct is a peace of shirt who will barn in hello.
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BANANASPLITS
The inventor of the jigsaw puzzle died today he was married for over 60 years. His wife is said to be in 1500 pieces....
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nailit
It seems to me (both on AB and in real life) that the reasons why religious believers and religious doubters differ in their opinions is because of the way that we process information. Either...
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anotheoldgit
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/sportsnews/article-6719773/John-Motson-apologises-Millwall-striker-Tom-Elliott-race-gaffe.html...
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marval
Two Irish lads Pat and Mick are drinking in a bar. Pat says to Mick "I had my way with that blonde lass that I met last night" Mick replies to him and says. "Will you be seeing her again later...
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BANANASPLITS
My son just came home with a sofa and an armchair he said" someone just gave them to me" I've grounded him ...I don't know how many times I've told him not to accept suites from strangers!!...
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Deskdiary
I'll try to keep this short. I have a gravel drive and some weeds have started to come through so I was out yesterday with weed killer. It would appear the neighbour's cat has either licked it, or...
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BANANASPLITS
My wife accused me of being a transvestite. So I packed her things and left....
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Patsy33
I was an hour late for my train today, but luckily when I reached the station, it was still there... The people must have wondered, "Where the hell is the driver?"...
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Patsy33
My Grandad always said, “as one door closes, another opens”, lovely man, terrible cabinet maker. ....
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BANANASPLITS
I just got a phone call from a charity asking me to donate any of my old clothes to starving people around the world! I told em you must be joking anyone who fits into my clothes ain't starving!!...
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TonyV
He's definitely determined to get his wall built, but that was one of his election promises that got him elected. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-47258754...
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Patsy33
Not saying it's rough where I live, but Aldi are selling Father Day cards in packs of five...
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tinkerbell23
I am searching for the name of a book I read many years ago written by two brothers from Ireland who survived the most horrific child abuse. I cannot for the life of me remember these guys names. I am...
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youngmafbog
We need one of these. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6702159/Inside-hellhole-prison-drug-baron-El-Chapo-spend-rest-days-in.html...
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DTCwordfan
Can this be topped? Happy Valentine's Day to all the AB gals. https://www.flowerbx.com/same-day/same-day-red-naomi-100v...
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whistonian
I am really being harassed by my energy company to have a Smartmeter fitted.Would love to hear your views on these meters.
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Calicogirl
I'm doing a big fat nothing romantic (although I know I have got something because I've been told not to touch something until tomorrow, and I'm excited about that) because my other half is away, but...

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