I'm not sure if its just me, thinks this way, but does it really matter how many people come to your funeral, the deceased is not going to know a lot about how many people are there.
At the dentist! “I want you to paint my teeth blue” – said the blonde. “What!?” – exclaimed the dentist. “Just do it!!” – said the blonde. So the dentist painted her teeth blue. The...
A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons.The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-41399497
Who wants to have a bet on where these cars will be made ?
Will it be in Malmsbury, where he used to make his hoovers, or will it be Malaysia ?...
Two men were in a restaurant and ordered fish. The waiter brought a dish with two fish, one larger than the other. One of the men said to the other, “Please help yourself.” The other one said...
My wife was bending over doing the washing up in the kitchen and I was watching the news of the flood damage to the roads... On reflection probably not the best time to exclaim: "christ, look at the...
I said to my son if anyone tries to take your lunch money at school you're to head butt them.
I can't believe he got sent sent home early today for breaking the dinner lady's nose!!...
A Catholic girl goes into confession and says to the priest "I'm pregnant" He asks her "how did this happen my child" She says " I think it must be the second coming" The priest , shocked by this...
