What have Newcastle United , Middlesboro' and Chubby Brown got in common ?......................................................... They are all playing Blackpool this season.
Pedro was looking very sad when a stranger asked him "what's wrong "?. Pedro replies " look at my village, you see all a da roofs that are strong and waterproof that I Pedro have repaired ,do they...
If a bloke is drunk he's said to be "Three sheets to the wind " I would imagine it's something to do with the Royal Navy and sailing ships .Anybody Know ? .
General Custer was the last man standing and surrounded by thousands of Indians. As an arrow hits him in the shoulder and knocks him to the ground he sees an old whiskey jug and thinks if i am to die...
A brunette goes to a fancy dress party , she's totally naked except for a pair of little black boots and a pair of black gloves.The judge says "what have you come as ?. She lifts both her hands and...
Did you hear about the tortoise who got mugged by a gang of snails. When asked by the police if he would recognize any of the muggers again he replied "No it all happened so fast ".
I walked past my fridge the other day and thought I heard the onions singing a Bee Gees song . So I opened the door and found it was just the Che Che Che Chives talking .
One day a long long time ago in a land far away, there lived a woman who didn't nag whine or complain. But it was in a land far away only for one day and a bloody long time ago.
Police constable Turnip knocks on Mr & Mrs Turnips door to tell them that little Billy Turnip has been run over by a truck that was driven by Jack Turnip and that Billy Turnip has now been taken to...
I went to see Chubby Brown at the weekend and as soon as he came on stage I started shouting " you fat b@stard you fat b@stard ". Then I was told by security that that sort of behavior wasn't...
Two cowboys talking. 1st cowboy . " You know what to do with them chapped lips of yours " ?. 2nd cowboy " Nope" .1st cowboy says " come here " and as he lifts up his horses tail real high says " kiss...
Two bulls in a field ,one says "Dad lets run down to the bottom of the field and Sh@g one of those cows" The other says " No son lets walk down and sh@g all of them ".
Here's a strange one for you .FLABBER- GASTED. I know I've been it ,I've seen people with it . It makes some people open their mouths in awe.But where the hell does it come from?.
A bloke in a pub looks towards the fire and sees a huge dog licking its balls and says " I wish I could do that " . The landlord says " Well throw it a crisp it might let you "
A little girl goes into a pet shop and asks "excuthe me do you have any wickle wabbits" The shop keepers heart melts, he gets down on his knees so he is on her level, and says "do you want a wickle...
