flump1 Member Profile in The AnswerBank

A kiss to die for

A tough looking group of bikers were out riding when they saw a woman about to jump off a bridge... so they stopped and parked their Harleys. Their leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says,...

tinkerbell23

What causes head pain

...above the ears?? A real stabbing pain sometimes...alternating sides!? X...

anneasquith

pavements are for pedestrians ?

as above,,,,,,, cyclists please leave the pavements for pedestrians. get back on the road where you belong !

flump1

Bubbly urine !!

OK , for the last week or so maybe a bit longer I have been peeing bubbles! To begin with I wondered if I was peeing on the loo cleaner but after a while that is not the case but my wee looks like I...

marval

Excuse Me

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: "Excuse me Father, could I ask a favour?" "Of course...

Barmaid

And then the fight started (I feel a bit mean now)

We've got a slightly mad neighbour who complains about EVERYTHING. She's on her own bless so we do keep an eye out for her, but she can be bloody irritating. I've had a particularly bad day. I walked...

TheNovice

Beginning Of The End

It seems the Greeks are going to tear up their bail out agreement and the French are to re-negotiate the fiscal treaty that was going to save the world. This is the treaty that Cameron got slaughtered...

mrs_overall

Can someone give me a definition

I've been called an Answerbank troll. What is your definition of this?

hazeldene

I am a new member,

Just want to say hello to everyone.--------hi ya

mrs_overall

A Present from my Mother In Law

For a birthday present, my MIL has given me a half dead plant. It was originally a healthy plant.... when I gave it to her for Mothers Day. Grrrr

Jemisa

Some smiles for you...

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death. A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on...

carlton23

I`ve packed it in.

I`ve cut up my driving licence after 55years of safe driving, and want to know if I am required to fill in the forms they sent to re-new my licence. I`am 77 and now too old to drive, and illness...

B00

Could you adopt a Chardonnay?

http://www.dailymail....ystal-Chardonnay.html Was reading this earlier, and I'd like to say that if ever I was serious about adopting a child, I wouldn't let a simple thing like their name prevent me...

Dinger2

Wearing of Braces...

I occasionaly wear braces to hold my trousers up as an alternative to a belt, My Mum is constantly slating me..like, 'you look like an old man in those', 'They're the opposite of cool', 'they are NOT...

tenrec

For over 18s

Teacher draws a p-e-n-i-s on a blackboard & asks, "does anyone know what this is?" Little Johnny says, "yes sir, my dad has two of them..." "two?" Says the teacher....

cupid04

Were our grandparents a healthier bunch?

Seeing the 'I'm hungry' thread here earlier set me thinking my grandparents used to have four meals a day, ie:- breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper. And they both liked their sweets but neither of...

Ann

Birds flying into our patio door glass ..........

Twice this week a little goldfinch has crashed into our glass doors. Can anyone please suggest anything we can stick on the glass to stop them, which doesn't look tacky.. I have seen big coloured...

bubbly2000

Teenagers n troubles

I have recently discovered that my daughter is not happy & that she has been communicating with people who self harm. She has now started to do this. I am devestated, and she won't talk to me, in...

MissCommando

1 good thing and 1 bad thing about your OH

Best thing about my husband is that he is very kind and thoughtful, a real people pleaser who always puts others before himself. Not got much to moan about but it does annoy me when he leaves his wet...

ladyalex

Mad over Fifties Club

The Club is now Open. Welcome again, friends, old and older, mad and madder. What delights will this evening hold for us all ? Here's hoping for a new and delicious tailcock, a bit of assiduous...

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