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I drunk 10 bottles of TippEx the other day...

Big mistake!
10:48 Mon 27th Dec 20101 answer, last by MaryQ 10:50 Mon 27th Dec 2010
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Hmmm!! Women claiming to multi-task

You're just doing two things more slowly than if you did them one at a time and using the resulting mental confusion to claim some sort of genetic superiority over men who have realised that it's a...
13:08 Sun 26th Dec 20109 answers, last by DTcrosswordfan 13:21 Sun 26th Dec 2010
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Fatties who wear Thongs and boots

Both these fashion items were clearly invented for sex appeal, and little blonde barmaids from Australia. Therefore I DO NOT wish to witness your skimpy Alans disappearing between the two enormous...
19:43 Fri 24th Dec 201010 answers, last by Starbuckone 23:47 Fri 24th Dec 2010
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JLS and "Man Boots"

This "fashion" trend seems to be in full swing at the moment, personally i blame JLS for these boots that resemble something a tramp dug out of a skip after they were put there by a trainee...
19:34 Fri 24th Dec 20101 answer, last by cazzz1975 19:36 Fri 24th Dec 2010
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I've been sleeping with this bloke's wife and today he sent me this text:

"You go near her again and ill have you dead! Mark my words!" To which I replied: "8 out of 10, I'll requires an apostrophe and a capital I."...
19:16 Fri 24th Dec 20105 answers, last by DTcrosswordfan 19:33 Fri 24th Dec 2010
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I went to our Xmas do last night

The invitation says, 'Black Tie Only'. i was freezing all evening...
15:15 Fri 24th Dec 20101 answer, last by piggynose 15:39 Fri 24th Dec 2010
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Find the barometric pressuse where i live.

I need to set my barometer, how do i contact to find the pressure where i live, or do i take the number from the weather forecast. I thought it changed with height above sea level My house is 610 feet...
19:57 Thu 23rd Dec 20108 answers, last by AlBags 20:07 Mon 27th Dec 2010
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In this day and age?

A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal is "You're what?!?"
18:45 Thu 23rd Dec 20103 answers, last by factor30 09:27 Fri 24th Dec 2010
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You just can't win!!

The girlfriend is always claiming Im not "a real man". I suppose I should have gone the whole hog and got rid of the tits too....
13:39 Wed 22nd Dec 20101 answer, last by Captain Spod 22:57 Wed 22nd Dec 2010
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Hee Hee

19 irish men go to the movies. the ticket lady asks "why so many of you ? " paddy replies " the film said over 18 only !
13:37 Tue 21st Dec 20101 answer, last by NazNomad 13:37 Tue 21st Dec 2010
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A thought for Xmas

A man cannot live on bread alone. He needs a little crumpet too.
13:31 Tue 21st Dec 20103 answers, last by NazNomad 20:12 Wed 22nd Dec 2010
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For Dr Who fans!!

There is a time travellers convention last Friday.
13:26 Tue 21st Dec 20101 answer, last by squarebear 13:28 Tue 21st Dec 2010
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We have all heard the one

" My dogs got no nose, how does he smell, Bloody awful. well my dog doesn't eat any meat" Why because we dont give him any"
13:14 Tue 21st Dec 20105 answers, last by zabado 20:29 Fri 24th Dec 2010
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Every day is Christmas for me.

I can hear the jingle of Santa's sleigh, I gotTinnitus....
10:41 Sun 19th Dec 20102 answers, last by Groupie 11:09 Sun 19th Dec 2010
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Laugh ,I nearly did

> "Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?" > > 'Yes. What can I do for you?" > > "I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil > Smith...He's hidin' marijuana...
10:33 Sun 19th Dec 2010
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Warning Snow!!

Due to the expected prolonged period of bad weather the Govt. recommends that when you make a journey you should take with you the following:- * a Flask with some hot fluids in. * Food - (enough for...
10:30 Sun 19th Dec 2010
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I will groan first

Paddy goes to a Carpenter and asks if he can make him a box 2 foot wide and 50 foot long The Carpenter agrees and asks why such an unusual length Paddy replies "my neighbour moved away and forgot...
18:47 Sat 18th Dec 20106 answers, last by stewey 19:48 Sat 18th Dec 2010
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While the weather is bad here is a tip for gardeners

Lofts are magical places where its always Christmas .
12:20 Sat 18th Dec 20109 answers, last by johnk 07:37 Wed 22nd Dec 2010
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While Scotland gets on with the current weather, a 'State of Emergency' has been declared in Glasgow;

Greggs is closed.
12:15 Sat 18th Dec 2010
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Is it true that the singer from "Guns and Roses"

I read somewhere that Axl Rose decided on his name because it was an anagram of his favourite kind of sex..
19:17 Thu 16th Dec 20101 answer, last by snags 19:24 Thu 16th Dec 2010

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