My freind and i were discussing music, He said he had never heard a sound as bad as the sound from the playing of bagpipes, I thought well he had never seen "X Factor" then
the dentist's unable to speak, sweating, red faced and drooling . I said, "What's the matter, mate? Have you had some work done?" Hesaid,"Nah, as the receptionist leaned forward to give...
My wife thinks I'm being sweet when I call her "Butterface" as a nickname To be fair, after 20 years of marriage she's still got a great figure and decent tits ... "But her face"...
A woman who's spent a large part of her life impersonating the wife of late Beatles legend John Lennon, is starring in panto this Xmas.
Ono she isn't....
The other day I was looking through one of my son's school books when I saw something that made me rush up the school straight away to see his teacher--------------------------------------...
The snow reminds me of my mother-in-law,
it lands when it wants, it's never welcome
and when it stays too long i feel like attacking it with a shovel....
I was waiting for a train earlier when this drunk pillock started acting up on the platform. He was shouting, swearing, even tried to start on a couple of kids. Then all of a sudden he jumped off the...
Hi Problem 1-- when in AB for instance the page displays only in the middle of the screen with wide blank spaces at each side.
Prob 2 How to make text larger and stay larger as default.....
I got this new after-shave that smells like breadcrumbs.
The birds love it!
PS
My joke writing skills are quite similar to sex with my girlfriend. In the end I'm the only one satisfied...
I think i have a good singing voice i say this because when i was singing in my living room yesterday my nieghbour threw a brick through my window, I think he wanted to hear me better.