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Hopkirk

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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My wife can't stop buying magazines. She's got issues....
07:28 Fri 03rd Feb 20234 answers, last by Patsy33 14:16 Fri 03rd Feb 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him. “Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The...
07:14 Thu 02nd Feb 20237 answers, last by jaffa19471 07:58 Fri 03rd Feb 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

If you jumped off a bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine....
06:42 Wed 01st Feb 20237 answers, last by zebo 12:04 Wed 01st Feb 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

This sentence contains exactly threee erors.
06:50 Tue 31st Jan 20235 answers, last by murraymints 07:22 Tue 31st Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? A chicken sees a salad....
07:01 Mon 30th Jan 20239 answers, last by Patsy33 14:38 Mon 30th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

I'm So Angry

with the holiday company "On The Beach". They have taken a jolly Christmas song and ruined it forever....
19:00 Sun 29th Jan 202332 answers, last by Ellipsis 16:53 Mon 30th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Yesterday morning I went past the cemetery, and I saw four guys walking around carrying a coffin. I went back past in the evening, and they were still carrying it. I think they've lost the plot....
08:06 Sun 29th Jan 20235 answers, last by brian j john 15:54 Sun 29th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

The other day a woman described me as a bit of a looker. Well , voyeur was the actual word used....
07:31 Sat 28th Jan 20233 answers, last by Ken4155 13:17 Sat 28th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion....
08:54 Fri 27th Jan 20233 answers, last by murraymints 05:57 Sat 28th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

The hardest part of making skimmed milk must be throwing the cows across the lake.
06:46 Thu 26th Jan 202311 answers, last by Ken4155 13:34 Thu 26th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Electricity Reduction

I don't think the authorities have noticed a flaw in their demand reduction scheme. Customers are financially rewarded for reducing consumption compared with their normal usage. What this will do is...
07:15 Wed 25th Jan 20237 answers, last by barry1010 14:27 Wed 25th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I opened a chocolate bar and on the inside of the wrapper it said "You're a loser". I wouldn't have minded, but there was no competition on. To make things worse, it was a Boost....
06:47 Wed 25th Jan 20234 answers, last by Patsy33 13:17 Wed 25th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I saw a man with a wheelbarrow full of horseshoes and four leaf clovers. Talk about pushing your luck....
06:40 Tue 24th Jan 20234 answers, last by Canary42 08:47 Tue 24th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back....
06:44 Mon 23rd Jan 202311 answers, last by Ken4155 12:55 Mon 23rd Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away....
07:16 Sun 22nd Jan 20236 answers, last by Patsy33 18:07 Sun 22nd Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

(For full transparency I must declare that this is copied from a listener's input on the Ken Bruce show on Radio 2 yesterday.) I went to see my doctor the other day. "Doctor" I said "I keep mentioning...
09:05 Sat 21st Jan 202312 answers, last by bobbinwales 21:44 Sat 21st Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate having visitors....
06:42 Fri 20th Jan 20233 answers, last by Arksided 06:49 Fri 20th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

When should condoms be used? Every conceivable occasion.
07:22 Thu 19th Jan 20239 answers, last by Patsy33 09:13 Thu 19th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed? Everybody.
06:16 Wed 18th Jan 20235 answers, last by Ken4155 12:59 Wed 18th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Bbc Breakfast Clock

What do you think of the new BBC Breakfast clock? It is a blue and yellow analogue clock face....
07:01 Tue 17th Jan 20234 answers, last by choux 16:01 Tue 17th Jan 2023

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