A bloke walks into a Glasgow lending library and says to the prim librarian, 'Excuse me Miss, dae ye hae ony books on suicide?' To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her...
Spent a very entertaining half an hour today watching the neighbour's cat (Dennis) trying to get to food. I had some sausages past their "sell by" date so cooked them, chopped them up and...
The British PM David Cameron is visiting a Glasgow hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness. He greets one and the patient replies: "Fair fa your...
Late friend of mine used to tell the same joke over and over again. My grandchildren love it and it still makes me smile. Did you hear about the wee cannibal boy? He was eight before he was seven....
At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two...
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell...
Well folks, what did you think of last night's episode? Quite a few twists and turns. Can't believe next week is the last in the series, the characters are just great.
A woman named Emily renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. "What I...
Just to balance things out a little, I think I am a very nice MIL who has a really nasty daughter-in-law. If it wasn't for my grandchildren whom I love dearly I don't think I would ever visit. She...
I'm the life of the party.....even if it lasts until 8 p.m. I'm very good at opening childproof caps...with a hammer. I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going. I'm awake...
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something cr*p! Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. Women will never be equal to men...
I Stepped on the scales...I nearly died... "ONE AT A TIME " a little voice cried, How did this happen??? How could this be??? This unsightly mass I'm ashamed to call ME!!! Waistbands get...