maggiebee Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Todays Moan

Awwww i am just NOT a morning person.... I hate people talking to me when im just up!! I got up for a pee earlier and as soon as my feet touch the floor mum thinks i am now up and comes in talking...

tinkerbell23

Cant believe it!!

A week ago i was sunbathing in my garden!!! Its a snow blizzard now lol Freak weather!!!...

meridian

food you can eat from the garden

thank you for any help given in advance, no number of letters given to the answers, 1. One of five plus ce 2. another for the oyster plant 5 everyone in the middle of the shot 6, tom thumb comes to...

marval

Court quotations

The following quotations are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts by Charles M. Sevilla and are things people actually said in court. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said...

starone

Snow Joke

Lady goes on vacation to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him, 'What is your name?' 'I can't tell you,' the black man says. Every...

McMouse

Just been to Watford....

.....makes High Wycombe seem civilised. What's your least favourite Town?

mccfluff

huntes chicken

to save arguments about what constitues hunters chicken, this one is chicken wrapped in bacon with cheese and a bbq sauce i've never had it before as i hate bbq sauce (yes i know) but what do you have...

piggynose

accents...

When US Americans can't differentiate between accents from the British Isles, they can get into a lot of trouble. To wit: I was in a pub last night and saw two "girls of size" (as PC now...

marval

Thoughts From a Wandering Mind

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what? Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. All I...

bellazella

Pouring Yoghurt

For me, their something not right about it, anyone else slightly squiffy about trying this?

craft1948

I have been barred from the Co-op!!

I have apparently been barred from the local Co-op for being rude and aggressive towards one of the checkout 'ladies'. I wouldn't mind but the 'lady' in question would make Attila the Hun seem like...

cozzer

television programmes

1 a member of the military police [6] 2 sign of the zodiac [8] 3 fund raising by selling tickets [7] 4 tree that bears nuts [6]

Jemisa

The Jump!

A young man joins the Air Force. He writes to his father, saying that he is really frightened about the upcoming parachute exercises. A few months later he gets leave and goes home. His father asks,...

CailinDeas

10 THOUGHTS TO PONDER!

Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted. Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an...

redvanman

Idiot's

Our country is run by idiots after listening to this weeks comments on fuel and pasties this is why it country is in the SH*T

micmak

Loch of Lowes......

For anyone interested 'Lady' is back for the 22nd year. She arrived this morning at 8.31 am.

gordie1

Keith Aitken's Prize Crossword

2d lamplighter l-e-i- (6) 5a Fed IDS, upsetting castle between Foveran and Udny (anag) (6) -i-d-- 8d whisky-distilling area by Scotland's fastest river --e-s-d- (8) 17d scots eyes e-n (3) 27d...

Bumpkin_Clumber

An old Copper

This joke is as old as me if not more,,, An old copper, Pc Hardy, was on his beat one night when he saw Johnny cycling towards him, his front lamp was flashing on and off. Just as Pc Hardy was about...

sidkid

More confessions

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren....

quizzywig

Chris Evans

Now I'm a big fan of Chris - or at least I was. I'm beginning to go off him a little. The other day he was rabbitting on about a story in the papers about Madonna I think, which said that women over...

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