I was practicing my potting technique in the local snooker club yesterday.
The manager approached me and said.
“Get out and take that soil with you.”...
I was over an hour late for work this morning. When I arrived the boss stormed over and snapped, “What’s your excuse this time Matthew?” “Sorry sir,” I replied. “I missed the bus.” He...
My partner said he is leaving me because I can’t stop talking about African countries.
To which I replied “Please Kenya take me back, I’m Ghana stop doing it. I don’t want you Togo....
I have Just been reading a book which, apparently, is all the rage.
It is about a girl who cheats in her A level exams to achieve higher marks.
It is called "Shifty Grades of Faye."...
KFC have decided that due to the current economic climate its employees will receive chicken instead of a pay rise. Strike action is expected after workers described the pay increase as “paltry.”...
I really don’t know what I did wrong.
I was peacefully eating my chicken tikka masala with a spoon.
The waiter then came and told me get the fork out....
Two prison inmates are in a cell together. One says to the other ”I have got two tickets to the wardens ball, do you want one?” ”No thanks, I can't dance” the other inmate replied. The first...
Mr. Brown is at the doctor’s, “Doctor, I can’t sleep at night because I keep having to think about the crocodile under my bed.” “I’ll prescribe some medication,” says the doctor. “You...
Two little old ladies were walking through the park one Sunday afternoon. The band was playing a catchy sounding tune, and one of the old ladies said, "I wonder what the name of that tune is." The...
When the man and wife got into bed for some lovemaking one night, instead of responding she was complaining about economic conditions of the world. "Everything is going up," she whined. "The price of...
For all guitar players, worried about your fingers hurting? Stop fretting. I took my car to auction yesterday. It didn’t buy anything though. I saw a poster that said, ‘Do you want help giving up...