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marval

1201 to 1220 of 3998

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marval

He's Stuck

Jonas Screw, the famous human-drain cleaner who worked for Dyno rod for 40 years, was taken to hospital. After he nearly drowned when stuck upside down in a manhole. Doctors said he was still...
00:12 Thu 05th Nov 20159 answers, last by vulcan42 09:26 Thu 05th Nov 2015
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marval

Slow

My local magician can slow his heartbeat down until it stops. But, to tell the truth, he only managed to pull it off once....
17:20 Tue 03rd Nov 2015
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marval

I Was

I was in the pub last night and I walked up to the barman and said "Vodka please mate" He said "How would you like it?" I said "Give it to me straight" He said "You're fat and ugly"...
15:22 Tue 03rd Nov 2015
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marval

Never

I've never heard of a Dangerou before. Apparently there are loads of them at the zoo. Every other cage has a sign saying: “These animals are Dangerous.”...
19:11 Mon 02nd Nov 20155 answers, last by Shaglene 13:59 Tue 03rd Nov 2015
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marval

I Hope

I hope my new book does well. It's called "How to be concise and get straight to the point using the minimum of diminutive words necessary to convey your meaning as clearly as possible without overly...
16:41 Sun 01st Nov 20154 answers, last by janbee 06:03 Mon 02nd Nov 2015
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marval

Yesterday

Yesterday I was looking through the app store for something to help me light a candle. It just kept telling me “No matches found.”...
15:26 Sun 01st Nov 20156 answers, last by janbee 06:03 Mon 02nd Nov 2015
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marval

It's Halloween

The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office. "How was work, dear?" his wife asks. "Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts. "Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a...
19:04 Sat 31st Oct 2015
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marval

Oh No!

Just as a young man was about to get a chest X-ray, the equipment slipped and his pelvic region was X-Rayed instead. "Oh, no!", cried the lab technician, "Your reproductive organs just received a huge...
15:45 Sat 31st Oct 2015
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marval

New Words

The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:...
19:18 Fri 30th Oct 20153 answers, last by Togo 19:11 Mon 02nd Nov 2015
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marval

Friends?

A young couple were touring southern Florida and stopped at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road. After seeing the sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes....
18:35 Fri 30th Oct 20151 answer, last by frugalfred 18:37 Fri 30th Oct 2015
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marval

I Know

I know a lot of very clever jokes about umbrellas. But they usually go over peoples heads....
18:54 Tue 27th Oct 20152 answers, last by murraymints 04:45 Wed 28th Oct 2015
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marval

Smoked

I smoked a joint earlier. All I need to do now is cure it and I'll have the best Christmas ham you've ever seen....
22:04 Mon 26th Oct 20154 answers, last by marval 16:32 Tue 27th Oct 2015
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marval

Why Put Your Life At Risk?

I have never really understood this craze for selfies, It doesn't bother me, if people want to do them alright. But to endanger yourself in the process, that to me is sheer stupidity....
13:26 Mon 26th Oct 201522 answers, last by DaisyNonna 20:13 Mon 26th Oct 2015
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marval

Ever Wonder What Happened?

Do you ever wonder what the year of your birth was like? This might tell you a few things. http://whathappenedinmybirthyear.com/...
10:59 Mon 26th Oct 20153 answers, last by Mamyalynne 11:12 Mon 26th Oct 2015
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marval

A Crowd

A crowd gathered in town today when a jumper was spotted up on a ledge. It turned out to be a cardigan....
09:26 Sun 25th Oct 20155 answers, last by DTCwordfan 16:22 Sun 25th Oct 2015
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marval

Advice

My dad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed. "It's worth spending money on good speakers," he told me....
17:22 Sat 24th Oct 20153 answers, last by waterboatman 04:02 Sun 25th Oct 2015
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marval

Disrepectful Or What?

Oh went to a friend's funeral yesterday. There were some family members there, mother, father and two children. Not sure of the children's ages, but all through the funeral, including in the church...
20:44 Thu 22nd Oct 201515 answers, last by Old_Geezer 22:45 Fri 23rd Oct 2015
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marval

Great Canal Journeys

Don't forget that Great Canal Journeys is back with a new three part series. It is on this Sunday at 8.00pm on channel 4. I love this programme and am really looking forward to watching it....
21:38 Wed 21st Oct 20155 answers, last by marval 15:24 Sun 01st Nov 2015
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marval

Sipping Vodka

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I...
20:23 Wed 21st Oct 20157 answers, last by Shaglene 07:36 Thu 22nd Oct 2015
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marval

I Was

I was in the pub last night and saw this man throwing darts. Every time they wouldn't sink into the board. I thought to myself - that’s pointless....
14:27 Tue 20th Oct 201510 answers, last by retrocop 18:26 Tue 20th Oct 2015

1201 to 1220 of 3998

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