A man is talking to his best friend about married life. “You know,” he says, “I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there’s always that doubt.” His...
A lawyer was questioning the testimony of a witness to a shooting. "Did you see the shot fired?" "No sir, I only heard it." "Stand down, said the judge sharply. "Your testimony is of no value." The...
A man went on a job interview the other day. Now he was not really looking for another job, but it doesn't hurt to see what's out there. He saw a great one in the paper with much higher pay then what...
Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. She excuses herself to fetch her mum and introduce her new Friend. As her friend is standing in the living room next to the...
I have a chicken in my fridge, the use by date is today.
Can I cook it today, cool it and use it tomorrow.
I don't want to make either of us ill though....
Politically Correct Terms for Cat Owners My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug redecorator. My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job. My cat does not fear dogs, they are...
Pamela offered to care for the eight-year-old daughter of her next-door neighbour. She arrived in time to prepare breakfast, laying a generous helping of bacon and eggs in front of the child. "Mother...
A young dating couple were driving down the road in a very busy area, when things started to get somewhat passionate. They decided to pull over and park and have some fun. Things were really getting...
One day a little girl was watching her mum do a roast beef. She cut off the ends, wrapped it in string, seasoned it and set it in the roasting pan. The little girl asked her mum why she cut off the...
Five-year-old Suzie told her mother the story of Snow White which she had heard in school. Prince Charming had kissed her back to life. Suzie concluded: "And do you know what happened then?" "Yes,"...
A funeral procession is going up a steep hill on main street when the door of the hearse flies open The coffin falls out then speeds down the street. It eventually crashes into a pharmacy and stops by...
Many years ago a man called Joe worked in the coal mines. He would go to work early in the morning, go down the mine to the coal face and do his eight hour stint, then come back to the surface to get...
Father John is walking down the street one day when he notices a Nathan, a young boy, trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, Nathan is very small and the doorbell is too...
A depressed young blonde was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself in the channel. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears and took pity...
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job. “Okay,” the sheriff drawled, “what is 1 and 1?” “Eleven,” she replied. The sheriff thought to...
Maurice, aged 87, was very contented living in the Alpha Nursing Home just outside Stubbington, Hampshire, England. After meeting Edna, 76, he grew even happier and fell deeply in love. Only yesterday...
Today we would like to thank Albert for his service to our company. Albert is someone who does not know the meaning of impossible task. Someone who does not know the meaning of lunch break. Someone...
A Skunk walks into a bar and he says, "Hey where did everybody go?" A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any helicopter flavoured potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head...