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marval

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daveharrold

adverts

Who was paid ?30,000 for horlicks commercials and was told he could'nt have the money until he retired from athletics? Which 1960's breakfast cereal had a commercial featuring Craig Douglas, Lonnie...
12:00 Fri 24th Apr 20093 answers, last by marval 13:14 Fri 24th Apr 2009
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wakeover

A very depressed friend.....

...asked if I would help him end it all. So I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
06:01 Fri 24th Apr 20092 answers, last by sallabananas 11:09 Fri 24th Apr 2009
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richardjhoop

Larry LaPrise R.I.P.

It was announced with great sadness today that Larry LaPrise, reputed composer of the "Hokey Cokey", died peacefully in his sleep at the age of 92. The problems began, however, when they tried to get...
10:23 Fri 24th Apr 20091 answer, last by marval 11:07 Fri 24th Apr 2009
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marval

Here are some new dog varieties.

Collie + Lhasa Apso Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport. Spitz + Chow Chow Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot. Pointer + Setter Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet. Great Pyrenees...
18:42 Wed 22nd Apr 20094 answers, last by marval 23:25 Thu 23rd Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Sick as a parrot

Polygon - My parrot's flown away Politician - This parrot uses sound bites Political - Try to make parrot mentioned above, laugh Polytechnic - Where parrots play with Lego Polyps - mouth on a parrot...
09:01 Thu 23rd Apr 20091 answer, last by marval 17:10 Thu 23rd Apr 2009
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chrisrob

DIY puns

Of course I don't make up all the puns I post but I do originate a number of them. They're quite easy really. Have a go yourself. Here are some ideas for starters: > 1. About drug taking students:...
08:57 Thu 23rd Apr 20093 answers, last by chrisrob 17:10 Thu 23rd Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Tons of puns

I've posted 100 puns on Answer Bank now. But as the French say, un oeuf is un oeuf.
08:55 Thu 23rd Apr 20096 answers, last by McMouse 11:16 Fri 24th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

tenpun

Employees of the local 10-pun bowling club have gone on STRIKE, leaving the management in diSPARE. Staff say they want to live life in the fast LANE, but have been treated like TURKEYs and left...
08:53 Thu 23rd Apr 20092 answers, last by marval 16:19 Thu 23rd Apr 2009
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marval

An eggseptional joke

Two eggs sitting on a kitchen table One of them spots a whisk and asks "what's that?" The other egg looks puzzled and replies "beats me."
18:57 Wed 22nd Apr 20096 answers, last by marval 16:18 Thu 23rd Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Holy orders

A man wanted to become a priest, so he went to a theological college to enrol. But when he arrived, he was met at the gates, and given his degree without even having to step into the college. When he...
08:59 Wed 22nd Apr 20093 answers, last by BilluSugger 18:41 Wed 22nd Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Useful metric conversions

* 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone * 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds * 10 cards = 1 decacards * 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche * 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin * 10 rations = 1...
09:06 Wed 22nd Apr 20095 answers, last by nightmare 12:38 Thu 23rd Apr 2009
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albaqwerty

banana trees

what do you get hanging from them?
17:24 Wed 22nd Apr 20093 answers, last by heathfield 08:55 Thu 23rd Apr 2009
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richardjhoop

Don't take drugs

The police catch 3 young men in an armed robbery at a bank & they are up before the Beak, who tells them that it is a serious offence & they could well go down for 20 years each. But, as he was...
23:05 Tue 21st Apr 20092 answers, last by lindylou16 17:10 Wed 22nd Apr 2009
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lindylou16

Hee Hee Ha Ha

A dog went? To a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine...
19:54 Tue 21st Apr 20093 answers, last by BilluSugger 18:42 Wed 22nd Apr 2009
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lindsey5567

What should i do? What would you do?

okay... so... when i was twelve years old, my family (my mom, dad, brother, and me) met this other family (karla- mom, roger- dad, and cody- son). our families became so close it wasn't even funny. we...
01:04 Tue 21st Apr 20099 answers, last by funnygirl 15:09 Fri 24th Apr 2009
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New Judge

Just what are they doing there, then?

The Mayor of Calais, Natasha Bouchart suggests that the UK is to blame for her town playing host to hoards of foreigners sleeping rough. She says they use the town as a staging post in their attempts...
14:17 Tue 21st Apr 200922 answers, last by anotheoldgit 12:11 Wed 22nd Apr 2009
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sue2009

sagem mobile phone

Accidentally put my phone on silent and can't remember how to get out of silent. It's a sagem my220x. Can anyone help please?
19:50 Mon 20th Apr 20096 answers, last by sue2009 16:43 Tue 21st Apr 2009
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Cockney_si

Britains got talent Saxophone guy

What was the tune he played? Was it from Phantom of the opera or something, I couldn't visualise the words.... Many thanks in advance.
23:56 Sun 19th Apr 200911 answers, last by Cockney_si 15:34 Tue 21st Apr 2009
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joggerjayne

thai bride joke

A man buys a Thai bride. On their wedding night, they lie in bed, and she is constantly stroking his willy. The man, happy that his bride is paying him so much attention, asks: Do you really like my...
10:12 Tue 21st Apr 20095 answers, last by marval 13:50 Tue 21st Apr 2009
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chrisrob

More puns

What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat? A weasel is weasily recognised but a stoat is stoatally different. > > > > > What's the difference between a photocopier and the...
10:48 Tue 21st Apr 20092 answers, last by marval 13:48 Tue 21st Apr 2009

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