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marval

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Jemisa

More Smiles 18+

My uncle just got struck off the medical register for having sex with his patients, it's a real shame cause he's a really good vet. >>>>>>>>> Woman walks past a pet shop with a sign reading 'For sale...
23:00 Thu 25th Jul 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 09:25 Fri 26th Jul 2013
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Fanriffic

Summer Foot Wear

I saw a drunk man walking home from the beach today wearing only one flip flop on his feet. I asked him: "Did you lose a flip flop?". "No - found a flip flop" he replied....
23:51 Sat 20th Jul 20137 answers, last by Canary42 02:43 Mon 22nd Jul 2013
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emmie

Why Was This Man

ever released, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-23330163...
13:16 Wed 17th Jul 201337 answers, last by neil42 13:31 Thu 18th Jul 2013
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Jemisa

From The Back...

> A Vicar's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the Bishop and asked for arise in his wages. > After much discussion, he passed a rule that whenever the Vicar's family expanded; so would his...
23:09 Mon 15th Jul 20133 answers, last by Mannino44 11:21 Fri 03rd Mar 2023
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starone

Creation

On the first day, God created the dog and said, sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life span of twenty years. The dog said,...
08:41 Mon 15th Jul 20133 answers, last by excelsior-1 15:13 Mon 15th Jul 2013
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maggiebee

Surgery?

Things you don't want to hear during surgery (bit American!) Better save that. We'll need it for the post mortem. Someone call the janitor. We're going to need a mop. Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad...
19:10 Thu 11th Jul 20136 answers, last by marval 10:37 Fri 12th Jul 2013
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excelsior-1

At Engineering College........

......i attended a lecture focusing on the invention, development and mechanics of all types of pliers i found the talk quite gripping...
13:41 Sun 07th Jul 20139 answers, last by tonyav 17:18 Mon 08th Jul 2013
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excelsior-1

The Virgin

Maria just got married, and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry,...
15:53 Sat 08th Jun 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 16:02 Sat 08th Jun 2013
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excelsior-1

Whoops

A man is lying in his bed very ill and waiting for death Beside him his wife is sitting and looking at him Man:tell me darling,will you get married after I die wife:yes I'm afraid Man:will you cook...
20:34 Sun 02nd Jun 20133 answers, last by marval 14:33 Mon 03rd Jun 2013
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Tilly2

No, I'm A Frayed Knot.

Does anyone know the joke to which the above is the punchline?
17:11 Sat 01st Jun 201322 answers, last by josaphine32 18:10 Sat 01st Jun 2013
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frozengal

Teacher

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense. Student: The future tense is "u will go to jail"....
11:39 Thu 30th May 20131 answer, last by marval 15:24 Thu 30th May 2013
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starone

Is Your Computer Masculine Or Feminine?

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is...
17:37 Fri 24th May 20132 answers, last by beso 09:13 Sat 25th May 2013
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excelsior-1

The Other Evening...

.....I was having dinner with Garry Kasparov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt....
18:49 Thu 23rd May 20139 answers, last by candysherbet 10:13 Sun 02nd Jun 2013
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excelsior-1

The Wife (Again)

I said to the chemist, 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said, 'Why?' I said, 'She keeps waking up.' I upset the wife's mother the other Guy Fawkes Night. I fell off the fire. She told...
22:04 Tue 21st May 20139 answers, last by frozengal 06:36 Wed 22nd May 2013
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excelsior-1

Crystal Ball For Sale.

any reasonable offer condlsidered having to sell due to unforeseen circumstances...
16:01 Tue 21st May 20134 answers, last by jim360 16:12 Tue 21st May 2013
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excelsior-1

Never Met

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore....
18:02 Mon 20th May 20132 answers, last by frozengal 06:25 Tue 21st May 2013
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starone

So Now, Here Is The Old Testament, Child's Version.

The Children's Bible (Old Testament) In A Nutshell In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one,' but I...
15:31 Mon 13th May 20136 answers, last by starone 15:50 Mon 13th May 2013
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maggiebee

Are You From Yorkshire?

Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs. Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth....
23:50 Fri 10th May 201324 answers, last by Zacs-Master 15:22 Sat 11th May 2013
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quizzywig

Endeavour

Thoroughly enjoyed this series. I really hope there's going to be another.
04:49 Mon 06th May 20131 answer, last by marval 09:40 Mon 06th May 2013
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Jemisa

Join The Club...

A Scottish Jew decided to retire and take up golf, so he applied for membership at a local golf club. About a week later he received a letter that his application has been rejected. He went to the...
14:39 Wed 01st May 20136 answers, last by frozengal 06:06 Thu 02nd May 2013

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