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McMouse

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McMouse

Tuesday Special

While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his...
12:37 Tue 10th Jan 20127 answers, last by Nousacy 08:14 Wed 18th Jan 2012
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McMouse

Coming into money.

Anyone experienced this?
15:47 Fri 06th Jan 201229 answers, last by Prudie 13:58 Sat 07th Jan 2012
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McMouse

Overheard on the bus

Two young women discussing plans for tonight. "Let's all meet up at the pub and decide which club. Should get my first relationship of the year tonight". I'm feeling so old.......in my day a...
12:26 Fri 06th Jan 201212 answers, last by McMouse 15:43 Fri 06th Jan 2012
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McMouse

Sun's approaching the Yardarm

Must wander up to the village for a tincture or two.
12:11 Thu 22nd Dec 201113 answers, last by McMouse 14:05 Thu 22nd Dec 2011
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McMouse

J Arthur Rank...

Today, being the anniversary of his birthday, ought to be declared "Salad Chefs Dat"
11:48 Thu 22nd Dec 20113 answers, last by Zeuhl 11:57 Thu 22nd Dec 2011
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McMouse

I'll get my coat

A man rushed into a busy doctor's surgery and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."...
10:28 Thu 22nd Dec 20113 answers, last by marval 16:16 Thu 22nd Dec 2011
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McMouse

Will I be banned?

Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire ... and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
16:59 Wed 21st Dec 201121 answers, last by MichaelZZ 17:05 Thu 22nd Dec 2011
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McMouse

I'm looking forward to a White Christmas.........

.....But if it runs out I'll move to the Red.
14:20 Tue 20th Dec 20112 answers, last by EDDIE51 14:21 Tue 20th Dec 2011
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McMouse

Brass Monkey

weather is getting we down. Have to go out soon and I'm not looking forward to it.
11:46 Mon 19th Dec 20118 answers, last by missprim 13:28 Mon 19th Dec 2011
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McMouse

Was in A&E this morning........

.....and they wheeled in an Indian lady whose eyes were closed and she wasn't breathing. I thought she was dead. Then I notices a red dot on her forehead and I realized she was just on standby....
14:52 Mon 12th Dec 20116 answers, last by EvianBaby 18:56 Mon 12th Dec 2011
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McMouse

Do you dream in colour?

Or is it just a pigment of their imagination?
16:11 Fri 09th Dec 20113 answers, last by rowanwitch 16:59 Fri 09th Dec 2011
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McMouse

I didn't know this...

When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure. When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure. When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heartproblems. When you...
10:02 Thu 08th Dec 20111 answer, last by rockyracoon 10:05 Thu 08th Dec 2011
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McMouse

Wednesday Cheer

On a bitterly cold winters morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You...
10:57 Wed 07th Dec 20115 answers, last by Starbuckone 21:10 Wed 07th Dec 2011
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McMouse

Fresh orange juice

2 soft boiled eggs, marmite soldiers and a brew of tea. OK Monday....bring it on.
10:42 Mon 05th Dec 201116 answers, last by murraymints 19:52 Tue 06th Dec 2011
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McMouse

Miss Fanny Green

An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church. 'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession... I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.' The priest...
12:14 Sun 04th Dec 20113 answers, last by cupid04 23:37 Sun 04th Dec 2011
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McMouse

In memory of late Mother-in-Law

The Christmas Day sprouts went on at midday today.
13:12 Sat 03rd Dec 20113 answers, last by notasyoungasiwas 16:26 Sat 03rd Dec 2011
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McMouse

Don't you just love them........

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely...
10:25 Fri 02nd Dec 2011
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McMouse

Caffeine in Coffee

Scientists have discovered that coffee in some high street outlets contains as much as three times the caffeine as others. Detailed research revealed this was due to some places using three times as...
10:34 Thu 01st Dec 201110 answers, last by vulcan42 11:26 Thu 01st Dec 2011
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McMouse

Three Cheeps for the NHS

Had a cataract done earlier this month and just heard they'll do the other eye on 30th December. Very good news, but I guess I'll look even older when I look in the mirror.
17:26 Tue 29th Nov 20117 answers, last by em10 18:57 Tue 29th Nov 2011
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McMouse

Obesity and The NHS

We are told that obesity is costing the NHS billions as it is one of the causes of diabetes, heart disease and arthritis. Have just got back from my local General Hospital and was amazed by the huge...
13:03 Tue 29th Nov 201116 answers, last by missprim 17:29 Thu 01st Dec 2011

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