My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?" I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling, with all the others I was awake." Hospital Visiting Hours are 3-4PM & 7-8PM...
A Priest, a Doctor, a rich Businessman and a Scotsman were held up by a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them. The Doctor shouted to them, "I've never seen such poor golf!" The...
A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?" He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm...
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format: Q. What is an...
The soldier stood and faced God Which must always come to pass He hoped his boots were shining Just as brightly as his brass Step forward now you soldier How shall I deal with you Have you always...
Yesterday my wife asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. She suggested I go down to the senior centre and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I told her...
I went to the doctor's the other day and met my new doctor. She's young, female, not bad looking. I was embarrassed, but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before. Just...
In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who might have had some theories on the matter.... The interview...
Why not have an 'AB Bonfire Night' topic. Ed could start the fire and chucking a few unruly members on to get things going. After that would be a free-for-all until only well behaved folk were left to...
...Just bought some paint remover and on the tin it said, "once paint is loose, us a ball scourer to remove". Bloke in the hardware shop gave me a funny look when I asked him if he had one....
It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens Center. Claude the hypnotist explained: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."...
The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk. The town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. They brought the cow from Scotland .. It was wonderful, produced lots...
