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McMouse

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McMouse

I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me...

Oi whats your disability? I said "Tourettes! now f*** off you ****!"
17:50 Sat 11th Apr 2009
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McMouse

What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife ?

A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
17:29 Sat 11th Apr 20091 answer, last by idiosyncrasy 07:44 Mon 17th Jul 2017
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McMouse

Nice Work If You Can Get It

A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The...
15:17 Sat 11th Apr 20095 answers, last by squarebear 10:07 Fri 17th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Little Billy

Little Billy goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Billy says " Mas-tur-bate." Miss...
15:08 Sat 11th Apr 20091 answer, last by Therema 15:14 Sat 11th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Why have Welsh farmers begun to wear kilts?

Welsh sheep now recognise the sound of a zip.
17:59 Fri 10th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Multiple Choice

If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Attila the Hun, and Gordon Brown, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: Shoot Brown twice.
17:50 Fri 10th Apr 20092 answers, last by Whoever 12:02 Tue 12th May 2009
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McMouse

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?

A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
17:42 Fri 10th Apr 20096 answers, last by DingoDave 12:29 Sat 11th Apr 2009
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McMouse

The Global Facts ... At Any Given Moment:

Fact: 79,000,000 people are engaged in intercourse right now. Fact: 58,000,000 are kissing. Fact: 37,000,000 are getting/giving oral sex. Fact: 1 lonely bugg*r is reading This.. Hang in there...
17:24 Fri 10th Apr 20091 answer, last by JonnyBoy12 18:11 Thu 16th Apr 2009
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McMouse

I think this is the right place

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of lager, any kind except Fosters. The bartender says, "What's wrong with Fosters, don't you like it?" The man says, "I hate that stuff. Last...
17:20 Fri 10th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Easter Bunny

A gynaecologist examines a lesbian and remarked "Madam that is the cleanest vagina I have ever seen" She replied "Thank you, I have a woman in twice a week !"
17:14 Fri 10th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Another one for the weekend

Man says to his girlfriend in the bedroom "I got some Olympic condoms for us to try out.. There's a gold one a silver one and a bronze one.. Should we try the gold one babe?" No she says "Try the...
16:54 Fri 10th Apr 20091 answer, last by marval 20:28 Fri 10th Apr 2009
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McMouse

F1 News

The Ferrari Formula 1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the UK Government's Youth Opportunity Scheme and employ people from...
18:53 Thu 09th Apr 20091 answer, last by lindylou16 19:42 Fri 10th Apr 2009
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McMouse

2 cowboys talking about their love life

1 cowboy says 'I like the rodeo position !' 'I haven't heard of that ... ' says the other cowboy, 'what is it ?' 'Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round...
13:23 Thu 09th Apr 20092 answers, last by texol 14:41 Mon 13th Apr 2009
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McMouse

OK Girls

Husband always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator. She goes balistic, "You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these...
13:16 Thu 09th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Are

Santa's helpers subordinate clauses?
11:10 Thu 09th Apr 20097 answers, last by McMouse 11:24 Thu 09th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Frog Pun

Would a grenade thrown into a kitchen in France result in Linoleum Blownapart.
11:01 Thu 09th Apr 20092 answers, last by marval 11:32 Thu 09th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Returning by popular request

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
10:55 Thu 09th Apr 20091 answer, last by no-knowledge 11:07 Thu 09th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Gift for Snow White

Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch she took the film to be developed. After a week or so she...
15:39 Wed 08th Apr 20093 answers, last by Mr-Marvel 20:58 Wed 08th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Time for a cuppa?

A man walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder. He walks up to the bar and asks for a pint for himself and a half pint for Tiny, his lizard. The barman looks a little taken aback but serves him...
15:24 Wed 08th Apr 20093 answers, last by heathfield 09:33 Thu 09th Apr 2009
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McMouse

One day a man went to see the Mozart's tomb.

When he got there, the tomb was open and Mozart was sitting there tearing up pieces of paper. The men asked: "What are you doing with all of your great works of music?" Mozart repied, "I'm...
15:21 Wed 08th Apr 2009

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