"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied...
Here we go again. Another case of the goal posts being widened and changed. She was accepted for the post before she converted to Islam.Now she wants to retain her job but refuse to serve alcohol....
3-year-old Reese : 'Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A little boy was overheard praying: 'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't...
Woman: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about 3 Woman: How much do you pay per beer? Man: £3 Woman: And how long have you been drinking? Man: About 30 years, I...
The Centipede � � � A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. � � � So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. � � �...
Beat you to that Hospital appt.Got taken to CCU last night. Ticker on blink.Shall be hores de combat for a while. Ruddy wedding anniversary tomorrow :-( Speak later. Answer t 2D (5) and (7) bored...
The priest in a small Irish village loved his chickens that he kept in the coop behind the church. One Sunday morning before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing....
Quickies I bought some 'Jamie Oliver Sausages' yesterday. On the packet it said 'Prick with a fork'…. I thought, can't argue with that! When cooking Alphabet Soup, don't leave it unattended, it...
http://metro.co.uk/2015/07/25/jihadi-john-abandons-isis-in-fear-of-his-life-5312812/?ref=yfp Boy I wish this could be true.If it is please form an orderly queue behind me so I can get to him first...
I cannot stand people who think they're worse off than everybody else. My mate Don is brilliant. He had a bad accident where he lost his voice and both legs. Does he make a song and dance about it?...
My mother-in-law is suffering from depression. She phoned me the other day and said, "I feel like jumping in front of a bus and you're not doing anything to help." So I sent her a timetable...
A bloke from Barnsley wakes up with a sore backside. He goes to the corner shop and asks the shopkeeper "nah then, does tha' sell rrrrrrs cream?" The shopkeeper replies, "That we do Lad, does tha'...
A Liverpudlian went to court accused of having sex with a cat. The judge dismissed the case saying that in his 30 years as a judge he'd never known a scouser put anything into a kitty!...
My wife just asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive.
Apparently the response of "don't worry babe, your boobs cover it," wasn't the answer she was looking for....
Mickey O'Flynn worked in an Irish pickle factory. > For many years he had a powerful > desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to > stand it any longer, he sought professional help from...
I cannot supply a link as protocol demands on the News section because I can't find it. I have just watched a report on ITV News at 10 about a Syrian illegal immigrant who has managed to reach the UK....
A real southern gentleman went to Las Vegas. Sitting in a cocktail lounge, he beckoned the waitress and said quietly, "Miss, y'all sure are a luvly, luvly lady. Can ah persuade y'all to give me a...
