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Living The Life Of Riley

The Old Timer A new man is brought into Prison Cell 201. Already there, is a long-time resident who looks a 100 years old or more. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says,...
14:03 Sat 21st Feb 2015
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Police Report

"But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!" the society matron protested. "Can't you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously...
13:56 Sat 21st Feb 20151 answer, last by maggiebee 17:53 Sun 22nd Feb 2015
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Granny And The Burglar

Granny An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening worship service and was startled to find an intruder in her house. Catching the man in the act of burglarizing her home, she...
13:48 Sat 21st Feb 20152 answers, last by marval 16:57 Sat 21st Feb 2015
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The Rabbi And The Flood

An orthodox rabbi is studying in his living room, when there is a knock on the door. When he opens the door, it is a policeman, who informs him that the rivers are rising, a flood is expected, and...
13:42 Sat 21st Feb 2015
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Blonde Sightseer

DC Blonde A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse...
13:24 Sat 21st Feb 2015
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Lawyers

Lawyers A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about...
13:23 Sat 21st Feb 2015
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Dog Cop

K-9 Unit A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She called the police immediately to report the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call...
13:18 Sat 21st Feb 2015
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The Sheriff And Billy Bob

The Sheriff & Billy-Bob One day the Arkansas county sheriff sees Billy-Bob walking around town with nothing on except his boots. The sheriff says "Billy-Bob, what the heck are you doing walking around...
13:12 Sat 21st Feb 2015
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Trust Your Fellow Officer

Trust In Your Fellow Officer A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial -- it went like this: Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I...
13:06 Sat 21st Feb 20151 answer, last by Barmaid 13:07 Sat 21st Feb 2015
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Lorraine Has Gone

Lorraine There was this cop and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work at the station and discovered that a woman rookie officer had...
13:04 Sat 21st Feb 20153 answers, last by jim360 13:06 Sat 21st Feb 2015
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Insurance Claim

A farmer who's been involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck ended up in court fighting for a big compensation claim. "I understand you're claiming damages for the injuries you're...
12:59 Sat 21st Feb 2015
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Irishman And The Cop

The Irishman & The Cop A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severly bleeding. The officer asked, "Can you describe the person who did this to you?" The Irishman replied,...
12:53 Sat 21st Feb 20151 answer, last by Tilly2 12:54 Sat 21st Feb 2015
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Little Lost Johnny

Little Johnny Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The policeman said, "What's he like?" Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"...
12:49 Sat 21st Feb 2015
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Where Are You From

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but...
12:48 Sat 21st Feb 2015
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American/russian Trade Fair

American/Russian At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any...
12:44 Sat 21st Feb 2015
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Could Be Worse

It Could Have Been Worse There once was a sheriff who, no matter what the situation, always said, "It could have been worse" after viewing the scene of the crime. It drove his two deputies absolutely...
12:38 Sat 21st Feb 2015
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How Did He Do It?

Burglary Lessons A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no,...
12:31 Sat 21st Feb 2015
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Home Education

many ways. 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that...
10:32 Mon 16th Feb 20151 answer, last by chrissa1 10:38 Mon 16th Feb 2015
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Vehicle Excise License

My wife has received DVLA Form V11 reminding her to tax her vehicle on it's 1st year anniversary of registration. Her vehicle is a Skoda Fabia Greenline which is tax exempt. What is the DVLA...
10:06 Mon 16th Feb 201515 answers, last by ToraToraTora 09:48 Tue 17th Feb 2015
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Royal Marine Sniper

A GREAT ANSWER TO A DUMB QUESTION: Katie Couric, while interviewing a Marine sniper, asked: "What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?" The Marine shrugged and replied: "Recoil." (Hard to fault a...
00:22 Mon 16th Feb 20151 answer, last by janbee 05:42 Mon 16th Feb 2015

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