These are real complaints received by Thomas Cook holiday makers. FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS: 1. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who...
Soon after being transferred to a new duty station, A Marine husband called home to tell his wife he would be late - again. He went on to say that dirty magazines had been discovered in the platoon's...
Patrick O'Riley went to Dublin on a business trip. When the trip was over, he took a cab to get to the airport. The cab driver decided to have a little fun at the man's expense, so he asked, "My...
Because of a shortage of maids, the minister's wife advertised for a manservant. The next morning a nicely dressed young man came to the front door. "Can you start the breakfast by seven o'clock?"...
A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer looked at the guy's photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found...
The Sunday evening quiz starts a7 7pm. Nothing to download and nothing to pay to join in. It's a fun quiz with really easy questions. Just follow the link below to have a go at being this week's...
The police recently arrested a man selling "secret formula" tablets he claimed gave eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for committing this...
It was four in the morning when Mr. Dartle's phone rang. The voice at the other end was pleasant and sweet. "I'm Mrs. Weber, and I would like to tell you that the refrigerator I bought in your store...
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. "This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous ugly representations you call modern art?" "No, Madam," replied the...
A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife. "Please describe," said his attorney, "the incident that first caused you to entertain suspicions as to your wife's infidelity."...
I went to see my doctor this morning. “Some one decided to graffiti my house last night!” I raged. “So why are you telling me?” the doctor asked. “I can't understand the writing,” I replied. “Was it...
A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon." Alarmed, the manager rushed over to the...
A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The copper approaches the driver's door. "Is there a problem Officer?" The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?" The driver...
Tech: "Hello, this is tech support. What can I help you with today?" User: (describes problem) Tech: (rattles off a load of computer jargon) User: "Sorry, I don't understand a word you're saying. Can...
Two rich men were talking over coffee and croissants at their country club one day and one of them said to the other one, "Hey, I tell you my driver is really stupid... you don't think so? Then let me...
Joey's teacher sent a note home to his Mother saying, "Joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls." The Mother wrote back the next day, "If you...
A woman calls her mother. "My husband and I have been fighting so much lately. I am going to come live with you again." Her mother replies, "No dear, he should pay for his mistakes. I'll come and live...
Went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basics. How much do you weigh?' she asks. "135 pounds" I say. The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180....
