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Rondy

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Rondy

The Grand National Winner

The bookie slowly counted out the money into the old lady's wrinkled hands. "Lady," he said, "I just don't understand. However did you manage to pick the grand national winner?" The old lady patted...
16:06 Thu 25th Mar 20214 answers, last by Georgiesmum 00:59 Fri 26th Mar 2021
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Rondy

It's Time To Retire

[img]https://i.imgur.com/S5Cn9Wo.jpg[/img]
13:39 Thu 25th Mar 20212 answers, last by Canary42 13:44 Thu 25th Mar 2021
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Rondy

Gone With The Wind

Two mice live in a movie studio warehouse and are looking for food. Suddenly one hears the other chewing. "What did you find?" he asks. "I am not sure," comes the answer. "It looks like a piece of...
15:58 Wed 24th Mar 2021
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Rondy

Sturgeon

Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on. He said "It's Nicola Sturgeon. She's up there threatening to set...
13:45 Wed 24th Mar 20212 answers, last by DTCwordfan 19:06 Wed 24th Mar 2021
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Rondy

A Special Offer

As I shopped in Asda the following announcement came over the store's PA system... "Someone here has a convertible with the top down, it's just started raining... Towels are located in aisle five, we...
19:09 Tue 23rd Mar 2021
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Rondy

Get A Job!!

Father: "Why don't you get yourself a job?" Son: "Why?" Father: "So you could earn some money." Son: "Why?" Father: "So you could put some money in a bank and earn interest." Son: "Why?" Father: "So...
14:09 Tue 23rd Mar 2021
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Rondy

A Hanging

In times past when people were hanged for murder. A man has just lost his last appeal. The execution day arrives, and after the priest has read to him, the hangman escorts him from the cell. They get...
12:17 Tue 23rd Mar 2021
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Rondy

Such A Hard Time Of It

I had the toughest time of my life. First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis. Then they gave me...
20:11 Mon 22nd Mar 20216 answers, last by maggiebee 17:08 Tue 23rd Mar 2021
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Rondy

Starting A Farm

A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of £200.00. Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the...
17:30 Mon 22nd Mar 20212 answers, last by GenuineclAss 13:36 Tue 23rd Mar 2021
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Rondy

Horse Riding

Tim: "I went riding this morning." Tom: "Horseback?" Tim: "Oh, sure. The *** got back two hours before I did.”...
14:29 Mon 22nd Mar 2021
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Rondy

Organic Veg

My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn't find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, "These vegetables are for my wife....
10:52 Mon 22nd Mar 2021
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Rondy

Being Saught After

I told my boss that three companies were after me, so I needed a raise in pay to stay in my current job. He asked which companies? I told him the gas, electric, and phone companies....
10:27 Mon 22nd Mar 20211 answer, last by Patsy33 18:09 Mon 22nd Mar 2021
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Rondy

A Vet Needs A Doctor

A Vet was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet -...
18:11 Sun 21st Mar 2021
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Rondy

Drunk

A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had broken in to his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, steering wheel, break pedal, even the accelerator," he cried out. However, before the police...
09:32 Sun 21st Mar 20211 answer, last by zebo 11:45 Sun 21st Mar 2021
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Rondy

Bigger Breasts

A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so...
19:08 Sat 20th Mar 20212 answers, last by elliemay1 01:14 Sun 21st Mar 2021
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Rondy

Dating

Guy:" Do you wanna hang out this Friday?" Girl: "Sorry, but I am getting married this Friday!" Guy: "Ok, well congratulations! Then how about this Saturday?"...
15:39 Sat 20th Mar 2021
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Rondy

Talent Show

During a performance for the school talent show at the local theatre, a hole was cracked in the stage floor. Subsequent acts managed to avoid the damaged area until little Freddy, juggling bowling...
17:08 Thu 18th Mar 20211 answer, last by Patsy33 18:39 Thu 18th Mar 2021
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Rondy

Cosmetics

“A cosmetics company had to recall its vanishing cream when many of the women using it were reported missing.”...
13:02 Thu 18th Mar 2021
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Rondy

Clever Dog

A man follows a woman out of a cinema. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at...
18:37 Wed 17th Mar 20211 answer, last by Patsy33 18:38 Wed 17th Mar 2021
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Rondy

New Electric Cars

We've had that many power cuts in Britain this winter. A new electric car was introduced with a hatchback design that offered a great facility. Dealers were inundated with requests for an upgraded...
14:17 Wed 17th Mar 20216 answers, last by Zacs-Master 17:53 Thu 18th Mar 2021

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