There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.' The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'...
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got...
A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a Priest and asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the...
A farmer drove to a neighbour's farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. "Is your dad or mum home?" said the farmer. "No, they went to town." "How about your brother,...
Three bulls heard the farmer was bringing another bull onto the farm. First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows." Second Bull: "I've been here three years...
A Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?" Maria: "Well, Señora,...
A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 notes. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the...
A Priest and a Rabbi were sitting next to each other on a plane. After a while, the Priest turned to the Rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?" The Rabbi...
Two Tasmanian's were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer. After a while the first Tasmanian says to the second, "If I was to sneak over to your house and make love to your wife while...
Two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at a bar: One of the guys says to his buddy, "Man you look tired." His buddy says, "Dude I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. I just...
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu... Tourist: $ 5.00 Broiled Missionary:...
A small zoo in Yorkshire acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem....
A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers." He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over...
A little girl asked her father, "How did the human race start?" The father answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made." Two days later the girl asked her...
A blonde got home from work early & heard strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushed upstairs only to find her husband lying naked on the bed, sweating and panting. 'What's up?' she asked. 'I...
Twin sisters in a Dublin Nursing Home were turning one hundred years old. The editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take pictures of the two 100 year old twins. One...
Stiff as a board and in pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose & down his throat, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. It was obvious he'd been in a...
Teacher: Little Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?
Little Johnny answered: Drin-king, smo-king, and f*c-king....
There were these three girls who were getting married and they all met at the marriage councillor’s office to discuss the options of having or not having a baby right away. They were two city girls...
An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe' with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu,...
