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starone

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Jemisa

O.m.g.

An old man went to a beach and saw a sexy girl in a bikini. he went up to her and asked her"can i feel your sexy,boobs?" The girl said, "no way, get away from me old man." The bloke said," twenty...
00:23 Wed 20th Mar 20137 answers, last by marval 16:12 Wed 20th Mar 2013
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netibiza

New Alphabet For The Biddies!!

A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line! F is for farting and fluid retention, G is...
20:53 Tue 19th Mar 20138 answers, last by jacpinetree17 20:48 Sun 17th Apr 2016
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gina32

Emmerdale Babies

why are the babes born to jai and nikhil completely different coloured skin, jais baby has dark skin but nikhils looks white?
20:33 Tue 19th Mar 201317 answers, last by Francis Asis 20:32 Wed 20th Mar 2013
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starone

Swollen Ankles

Ever since I broke a couple of ribs two weeks ago I have been taking paracetamol, 500mgs. with 30 mgs codeine (prescribed for the pain). The pain is still with me although it is gradually getting...
22:07 Tue 19th Mar 201313 answers, last by Sqad 07:46 Wed 20th Mar 2013
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bobtheturkey

Have You Heard The Story

About mike the chicken?...
22:06 Tue 19th Mar 201310 answers, last by Georgiesmum 23:20 Tue 19th Mar 2013
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excelsior-1

Don't Use A Big Word ...

....when a diminutive one will suffice...
22:02 Tue 19th Mar 20134 answers, last by marval 16:13 Wed 20th Mar 2013
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excelsior-1

Shin

a device for finding furniture in the dark...
22:00 Tue 19th Mar 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 22:13 Tue 19th Mar 2013
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silliemillie

Anyone Been On A Tv Game Show?

Any ABers been on a TV game show? How did you do? Did you enjoy it?...
20:13 Mon 18th Mar 201323 answers, last by silliemillie 19:36 Thu 21st Mar 2013
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mazie

Control Freaks...

Are they common? or limited to the few? I'm an absolute control freak and hate it. I'm a lousy passenger. I hate flying. I can't delegate, and if a job needs doing, I have to do it. :o( I'm so...
20:00 Tue 19th Mar 201332 answers, last by mazie 21:55 Tue 19th Mar 2013
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excelsior-1

There Once Was A Young Man ...

...who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define great, he said, 'I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a...
19:46 Tue 19th Mar 20131 answer, last by starone 21:44 Tue 19th Mar 2013
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DangerUXD

Cycling On The Pavement, What's Your Excuse?

One of my bug bears I suppose but I'm old school, trained to cycle on the road properly and obey road rules etc. Anyway the other day I was walking home and some numpty on a bike got right up behind...
10:30 Tue 19th Mar 2013222 answers, last by DaisyNonna 22:14 Tue 16th Apr 2013
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anotheoldgit

Has 'our Ken' Gone A Little Too Far This Time?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/9939558/Sex-abuse-victims-bring-it-upon-themselves-Bill-Roache-claims.html...
14:16 Tue 19th Mar 201355 answers, last by em10 20:18 Tue 19th Mar 2013
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marval

Sarcasm

I was walking past my local Asda and I saw a sign on one of the doors saying, "Exit Only." I pushed it, went in and walked up to customer services. "You've seriously underestimated that door's use." I...
15:18 Tue 19th Mar 20135 answers, last by jim360 23:44 Tue 19th Mar 2013
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Iluvspikey

Okay, What's For Dinner This Evening?

I had cubed extra lean (not-halal) lamb (bought at farmers market, known butcher all my life) I've made into a hot pot for me and my sons, daughter is out and husband is having an offal-fest with a...
15:52 Tue 19th Mar 201359 answers, last by horseshoes 18:36 Wed 20th Mar 2013
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magicmick

Beer Jokes

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder Beer doesn't make you fat it makes you lean, against bars, walls, other drinkers To some it's a six pack, to me it's a support group My dad used to collect beer...
23:58 Mon 18th Mar 20132 answers, last by starone 15:12 Tue 19th Mar 2013
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magicmick

Wife's Birthday

I asked my wife what she would like for her birthday she said something with diamonds, and something that goes from 0 to 60 in 5 seconds, so I bought her a pack of cards and a set of bathroom scales...
23:40 Mon 18th Mar 201313 answers, last by Ylonen 12:52 Wed 20th Mar 2013
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Jemisa

In The Dark...

A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours early, at 2 in the morning. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in...
23:28 Mon 18th Mar 20135 answers, last by starone 15:06 Tue 19th Mar 2013
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marval

Jewish Mothers

Three Jewish mothers are sitting on a bench in Brent Cross shopping centre talking about (what else?) how much their sons love them. Sadie says "You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living...
19:08 Mon 18th Mar 20131 answer, last by starone 15:05 Tue 19th Mar 2013
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mrs_overall

Mr O Being Secretive

Mr O received a package in the post last week and it was obviously a book but he was secretive about it. He has not left it laying around and my mind was going into overdrive thinking about what it...
09:59 Tue 19th Mar 201392 answers, last by mrs_overall 09:30 Wed 20th Mar 2013
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Highbrow

What's Your Opinion About The Death Penalty?

I have mixed feelings about the death penalty, but if I had to state an opinion I would say I'm for it. It also depends on the crime, the reason for the crime, metal health of the criminal....
19:22 Mon 18th Mar 201339 answers, last by humbersloop 20:15 Tue 19th Mar 2013

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