Fellow goes out to a nightclub and forgot his tie, so he quickly takes the jump leads out his car and puts them around his neck. He says to the bouncer outside "any chance of getting it?"...
A new priest, born and raised in Texas , Comes to serve in a city parish and is Nervous about hearing confessions, so He asks an older priest to sit in on his Sessions. The new priest hears a couple...
I have a brick block drive and am infested with weeds. I have tried scraping them out and Weedol. However on returning from holiday the drive was a complete carpet of weeds again. Has anyone got any...
I've given up, I need to seek help!
8Down Saint Bernard returned on Sabbath with other holy types. _ O _ T
I know I'll feel a total idiot when I get the answer!...
Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is...
many thanks but I've made a faux pas of 2 others. artificial(3-4) ???-m?d? under the alternative name of (inits) (3)a?? I did say its been one of those week ends. thanks to all to date.
Went to the doc to get more propranolol... She was SO LOVELY i could have hugged her... Had to explain my situation to her and mentioned my sleeping thing .... (you all know the story) Shes increased...
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into...
All Ages ..... While the Pope was in St. Louis he decided to grant absolution to three sinners. The first person to come up was O.J. Simpson. The Pope asked, “What is your sin?” “I...
We have a referendum to vote on whether to let all voters decide on who is mayor or leave it as is and let the councillors choose. Will it make a difference to how much power the Mayor has once in...
Suitable: All Ages...... An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being...
I was in a pub on Saturday night. Had a few drinks........ I noticed two large women by the bar. They both had strong accents so I asked "Hello,are you two ladies from Scotland?" One of them...
A woman named Emily renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. "What I...
A young man joins the Air Force. He writes to his father, saying that he is really frightened about the upcoming parachute exercises. A few months later he gets leave and goes home. His father asks,...
This joke is as old as me if not more,,, An old copper, Pc Hardy, was on his beat one night when he saw Johnny cycling towards him, his front lamp was flashing on and off. Just as Pc Hardy was about...
An Arab enters a taxi.......... Once he is seated he asks the cab driver to turn off the radio because he must not hear music as decreed by his religion and, in the time of the prophet, there was no...
I have read 3 newspaper reports recently and they have all said that the convicted person is a loner. In the street I am in there are 7 widowed men in 4 bedroom detached houses. 3 of them are in a...
Whether Conservative, Liberal or Labour , I think you'll get a kick out of this! A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?' Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am...