News2 mins ago
Husband Right Or Wrong.
29 Answers
hi I'm sitting here upset yet again with my husband and asking myself is it me.
After driving around in my Honda CRV for ten years my husband decided we should change it for a smaller more econominal run around, My Honda had a few chip marks on it but for a ten year old car it was in very good condition.
Two weeks ago we part exchanged it for a Toyota Aygo. When I picked it up with my son it had a few chips on it also a few light scratch marks but it was three years old and the marks were nothing that really stood out. However this evening my husband has gone mental saying that since he washed it yesterday it has three new scratches on it I disagreed with the three, maybe one on the door was small but new ? but I work in retail and no matter where i park my car I can not guarentee it will never get a mark on. I actually feel like giving my job up as i don't know how I'm suppose to say it won't happen again i have tried parking in different bays.
I can never say the right things in these situations i just get so upset because he accuses me of being negligent and not being mindful of where I park the car when i don't really have much choice.
He went out to T Cut the car then came in angry saying he will book it in to a body repair shop.
( we are not talking about a big scratch it is tiny ) this just makes me more cross and even confused if it gets knocked again I will be in more trouble, its a no win situation. I don't know how to respond to this without starting a massive row. My husband is very materealistc and also controling so i find whatever I say it is wrong. We are not youngsters we have been married forty years. I thought he would mellow as he got older, any sugestions how to handle this
After driving around in my Honda CRV for ten years my husband decided we should change it for a smaller more econominal run around, My Honda had a few chip marks on it but for a ten year old car it was in very good condition.
Two weeks ago we part exchanged it for a Toyota Aygo. When I picked it up with my son it had a few chips on it also a few light scratch marks but it was three years old and the marks were nothing that really stood out. However this evening my husband has gone mental saying that since he washed it yesterday it has three new scratches on it I disagreed with the three, maybe one on the door was small but new ? but I work in retail and no matter where i park my car I can not guarentee it will never get a mark on. I actually feel like giving my job up as i don't know how I'm suppose to say it won't happen again i have tried parking in different bays.
I can never say the right things in these situations i just get so upset because he accuses me of being negligent and not being mindful of where I park the car when i don't really have much choice.
He went out to T Cut the car then came in angry saying he will book it in to a body repair shop.
( we are not talking about a big scratch it is tiny ) this just makes me more cross and even confused if it gets knocked again I will be in more trouble, its a no win situation. I don't know how to respond to this without starting a massive row. My husband is very materealistc and also controling so i find whatever I say it is wrong. We are not youngsters we have been married forty years. I thought he would mellow as he got older, any sugestions how to handle this
Answers
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by cris r. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.I don't think it's for anyone else to say who is right or wrong but it seems to me that if he has always been this way he's not going to change.
I'd drop my voice low and tell him that you have to park it and leave it, you haven't done anything intentional and he is being unreasonable.
Don't row just state your case.
I'd drop my voice low and tell him that you have to park it and leave it, you haven't done anything intentional and he is being unreasonable.
Don't row just state your case.
The post seems to suggest to me that this is your car? If so I would calmly tell him you have no need of it going into a body shop for a scratch a it may happen again and you don't want to spend the money on it, so YOU have decided not to. Don't get into a row, as Mamy etc says, just state your decision, and whatever you do don't give up your job.
Seems like the OP’s partner isn’t offering much of any of those things and hasn’t for some time. I did not suggest dissent, I did suggest giving thought to how the OP wanted to spend the rest of her life and stated that she is an adult and should not be “in trouble” with her husband. I thought all of the comments were pretty reasonable actually.....
What do you think the OP should do? continue to put up with control and abuse?
What do you think the OP should do? continue to put up with control and abuse?
If you have been married for forty years, I wonder if your husband is retired. He may have time on his hands with nothing better to do than find fault. I imagine you will be retiring yourself before too long, so you have to ask yourself - can you put up with his bullying full-time when you have no job to go to ? Life with him just mornings, evenings and weekends is one thing - life with him 24 hours a day could be intolerable. You have some thinking to do, and maybe you could use some advice. If you retire with things as they are, you may be retiring into misery. Just because he is a habit in your life is no reason to let him continue in his nasty selfishness. Do something positive, I beg you, or you could end up even unhappier than you are now.
Wrong! he should be supportive and make little of it. However:
There's something wierd in the psyche of men about the paintwork on wheeled vehicles. If something has wheels on, the paint had better be right!
You can deliver a half million pound machine tool or a very large overhead crane to a factory and no-one takes a bit of notice - they could be painted with (and sometimes are) an old roller.....but deliver a relatively cheap Mobile crane or forklift truck or even a dumper truck etc. and all the experts appear out of the woodwork to kick the tyres and minutely check.....the paintwork!! EVERYBODY'S an expert, touching, squinting along the panels.....
Women do not have this affliction at all, but some men take it to extremes, as sounds to be the case here - a few weeks working in a car wash would probably be a cure.
Do not give up your job - ever!
There's something wierd in the psyche of men about the paintwork on wheeled vehicles. If something has wheels on, the paint had better be right!
You can deliver a half million pound machine tool or a very large overhead crane to a factory and no-one takes a bit of notice - they could be painted with (and sometimes are) an old roller.....but deliver a relatively cheap Mobile crane or forklift truck or even a dumper truck etc. and all the experts appear out of the woodwork to kick the tyres and minutely check.....the paintwork!! EVERYBODY'S an expert, touching, squinting along the panels.....
Women do not have this affliction at all, but some men take it to extremes, as sounds to be the case here - a few weeks working in a car wash would probably be a cure.
Do not give up your job - ever!