Here's Some More.

[Rondy]

The cheeky kids next door challenged me to a water fight, I said,”Give me 5 minutes and I’ll be ready as soon as the kettles boiled.”

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For a minute I thought the job centre was trying to appeal to the youth on the street when I saw the sign in the window saying: 'Get a job, innit'.
Turns out it said:‘Get a job in I.T.'

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I've just fitted an ejector seat in the car.
The wife's over the moon.

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I felt really ill after my new log burning stove fell off the delivery lorry, - I caught the flue.

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I received a letter this morning saying that my late uncle has left me a very expensive watch in his will.
I hope its not a wind-up.

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I plan to go all over the country planting chestnut trees.
It's part of my plan to conker the UK.

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ME: "Hey, Marti Pellow, long time no see. How's your arthritis?"
MARTI: "I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes..

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Just saw three people jogging outside and it inspired me.................................... to get up and close the blinds.

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Apparently this week it will be constant rane, hele, thundre, litnin and frizzing colde.
Really bad spell of whether.

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(My First day as a cop)
ME: "Suspect is dancing naked down the high street."
DISPATCH: "Copy that."
ME: "I'll try, but I'm a really lousy dancer."

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I never knew fog was addictive until I saw them advertising fog patches on the mototway!

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My significant other and I were discussing mistakes we have made in our relationship.
I suggested she should embrace her mistakes.
She then hugged me.

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