Blind Date

[marval]

I have got a blind date tonight with this girl who is 78.8 inches tall, I can’t wait two metre.

Bruce Willis, Nick Nolte, Steven Seagal, Gerard Butler and Vinnie Jones were all in the audience for my stand up comedy gig the other night. It was a tough crowd.

I jumped in a cab the other day and said to the driver, “Isle of Dogs.” He said, “That’s nice. I’m more of a cat man myself. Now, where do you want to go?”

There was a mathematician who frequently sunbathed and often strayed from the topic of conversation. He was a real tan gent.

I’ve just eaten a Minstrel. Getting the guitar down was the hard part.

With hindsight, I would have eyes in the back of my head.

My boyfriend has just dumped me because I don’t like Italian food. I really thought we could just move pasta thing like that.

I am moving to Jamaica to become a hairdresser. Quite frankly I’m dredding it.

My entire computer has just been wiped. It hasn’t looked this clean in years

If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs, you’re probably drinking too slowly.

[zebo]

Didn't you meet the child of the mathematician's mother's brother, his cosine?

[Patsy33]

Haha..Good ones!

[Zacs-Master]

78.8 inches is actually slightly over 2 meters. Just sayin’.