One evening, my fella and I were having a quiet night in together. All cosy in the living room, with the log fire crackling and my old cat Ned asleep on the sheepskin rug, loving the heat (he was an old boy).
At a certain point in the evening, my fella and I got a bit romantic and were having a "cuddle" on the sofa. Things were getting pretty raunchy and, not to go into too much detail, clothes were off and I straddled him where he was sat. You get the picture...
Well, things were getting to that critical point, when he let out an ungodly shriek. "Wow", I thought. I must be doing something right here! However, the shriek turned into more of a scream and he virtually flipped me off his lap as he stood up. There, between his legs, was old Ned - hanging off his scrotum by his claws. Blood was drawn. My fella went very pale... Ned was a big cat...
Well, that turned out to be the last of Ned's trophy killings and he died a few months later (at a heroic 19) with full honours.
I've got 2 kittens now... <evil cackle...>