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Good morning all.
I said I would update you on the situation and here I am. I am still extremely heartbroken about having to hand my baby over but as I said previously I thought I had found the perfect home - and I have. My baby is going to live with my ex-husband. She knows him, she trusts him and I will still get to see her. Fortunately he is now semi-retired and, between us, we have worked out how we can still both give our little one the home and love that she deserves. We can but try - but for now it's not 'all' bad!
I can't thank you all enough for your support and guidance in this stressful time.
I have to say, I lost my, dearly loved, first husband to Cancer 13 years ago when he was just 43 and the grief was overwhelming. The misery at having to re-home my baby has equaled that grief - and at this point in time I still have her with me. I can't begin to imagine how I would have felt if I had eventually parted with her for good. I just hope that my misery hasn't been picked up 'too much' by her over the past week. (I did go to the little room when 'the sobs' threatened).
My heart goes out to anyone out there who is going through this awful experience. I got my baby for life, but unfortunately life can throw situations at us that rock our world so much our coping mechanisms fail and we simply can't think straight. I am pleased to say that I (with your help) pulled myself together and came up with a solution - that looks set to work! AND - I haven't given up there! As soon as I can, I will go on the exchange list and/or try to find an affordable property that WILL allow me to have my baby back with me! It may take some time but I am a determined to do this!
Thanks again xx