Mr F Been In Respite Care

[ferlew]

Since Monday.
It has given me chance to get the carpet up in the bedroom, non slip flooring laid, and take delivery of a hospital bed with airflow mattrress. It should have been just 3 nights, but they kindly offered a full week as I was in a bit of a state.
Been very busy, and finally finished what needed doing today.
I had planned not to visit, as I didn't want him distressed if he couldn't return home with me.
They had phoned this morning asking if I could take his own wheelchair in as it had been fitted to him, and all theirs were not as comfy.
Anyway, went in and thankfully he did know me, I was so shocked after 5 days to see how he has deteriorated, I suppose I just hadn't noticed with being with him all the time. He is so weak and so tired and thin.
Anyway, he will be coming home on Monday and can have undivided attention until ......well, until he no longer needs it.
It was awful seeing so little of him left, and I feel so very sad, yet I can't cry and feel that isn't normal.
Did get him for a turn around their lovely fish pond, and he recognised several types of fish in there.
No question really, thanks for listening :)

[ummmm]

It's completely normal not to cry.

Now make sure you relax this weekend x

[jennyjoan]

I wish you the very best Ferlew as one of my friends is getting thin too - she lives with her son who has gone into denial and I think she is forgetting to cook.

Take care.

[Cloverjo]

Oh ferlew, I'm so sorry. It's awful to see a loved one deteriorate. Best wishes to you both.

[Mamyalynne]

Cry when you want to or save it until you need to, all you can truly do is enjoy what time you have left together in the best way you can.

There are no rules.

Thinking of you ♥

[trt]

All the best wishes to you both Ferlew, chin up.

[Eleena]

Hi Ferlew,
what a loving post, testament to your husband. Sometimes we're that busy holding it together just to get things done, our emotions are on hold. It's evident every thought and thing you do is trying to make things easier for him. Thoughts are with you. Keep posting your thoughts & take care x

[Eleena]

ferlew,
I'd like to offer you my email, no obligation.
Waterboatman has it if you want it x

[murraymints]

it is a difficult time..thinking of you both xx

[MallyJ]

Look after yourself and give yourself a bit of pampering...or allow others to treat you to whatever makes you feel a bit better..... This is a very difficult time for you but do a few things that you enjoy or that make you feel good.....long baths with a good book does it for me!

[Samuraisan]

Difficult times for you ferlew. Reading your posts I take my hat off to you , your devotion is a wonderful. Keep strong.

[Baldric]

Ferlew, you come across as so straightforward and caring,
I just wish you and yours all the very best, respect.

[Togo]

Ferlew, you are a diamond. Mr F has been so lucky, and still is, to find one such as you. Look after yourself too.

[albaqwerty]

ferlew, have just noticed this post. xx

There are no rules about sobbing/crying.

((hugs))

[woofgang]

Ferlew its absolutely normal. Human beings are very good at putting off falling apart while they need to be strong. There is a book that I found helpful...afterwards.....I am not once for counselling or talking about it or bereavement groups but although the book is written with absolute clarity and truth, I found it comforting. Its this one.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_4_10?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=you%27ll+get+over+it%27+the+rage+of+bereavement&;sprefix=you%27ll+get%2Caps%2C205&crid=3U8O0LAOBRBGJ

I will keep you both in my prayers

[Old_Geezer]

You appear to be coping well given the circumstances. I pass you my wish that you find the continued strength that you need.