All About Sex
For protection, my father bought me a German Shepherd dog. Now most people call their dog Rover or Ben, but I decided to name mine Sex.
When he ran away one night and I was out looking for him, a policeman stopped me and asked "What are you doing in this alley at 4.00 a.m.?"
I said "Looking for Sex." My case comes up Thursday.
I went to the local council offices to get a dog licence, and I told the clerk that I would like a licence for Sex. He said "I'd like to have one too."
"But this is a dog," I said. He said he didn't care what she looked like.
When I said, "You don't understand - I have had Sex since I was two years old," he said, "You must have been a very strong baby."
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I told the judge that I had had Sex before I was married. He said "Me too."
When I told him that after I was married, Sex had left me, he said "Me too."
Then I told him that I had Sex on TV. He called me a show-off and said that I should have sold tickets.
I also told him that we had taken the dog on our honeymoon, and when we checked into the motel I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. The clerk said "Sir, every room in the motel is for sex."
Then I said, "You don't understand - Sex keeps me awake at night."
The clerk said "Me too."
Then the judge said "Me too."
I acknowledged defeat and let my wife have Sex in the courtroom!