am i in the wrong? does anyone else have this problem?

[missjef]

me and my boyfriend have been together for just under a year, and while we have been together i have not had anything pierced or any new tattoo's because i have been scared of what he would say or if he would dump me because he feel's so strongly that people with tattoo's are 'morons'.
When we got together i already had 1 tattoo and 13 piercings, so felt that he must accept me how i am and must have known i might get more since i like them..
however yesterday - having discussing this with him first - i went to get my nipple pierced, i only had one done as i was a bit worried that he would actually break up with me if i had both done..

So yesterday i went round to his house for a couple of hours before going to town to have it done, and i got called "idiot", "moron" for the whole time pretty much, and also the occasional "abnormal"..

He already knows that i don't have much self esteem, so being called a moron constantly for 2 hours doesn't help!
He even went as far to say that he might not love me anymore! which i just think is ridiculous, because i'm still exactly the same girl i was!

Am i in the wrong? Does anybody else have this problem with their boyfriend/girlfriend?

Em x

[HelpfulHarry]

It is totally his fault for getting together with you in the first place seeing that you really are a moron. How on earth he could lead you on, knowing full well that with thirteen piercings you would never change. As for getting you nipple pierced, what an idiot!

[ChocolatChip]

It's completely his fault.
If he can't except who you are and what you like, then he is obviously an uncaring guy and doesn't understand the word compromise.
I'd chuck him if I were you, you don't need a guy to make you feel that way.

[~Wingnut~]

Em you are by no means in the wrong here at all! Please stop thinking that!
What you do to your body is your business and if you are worried that he may dump you because of something you do to your body, is he really right for you?

He knows you have low self esteem yet he carries on belittling you? He is trying to control you and sadly it looks like it is working. You do not need someone like this in your life, re-read what you have put and imagine it is one of your friends telling you all this, what advice would you give them?

You are not stupid, moronic or abnormal because you have peircings and a tattoo, he is for even saying those things in the first place to his girlfriend!

Take care Em, dump him and go and get the other one pierced! :o)

[weeal]

your in the RIGHT
You do these things for yourself, not for anyone else.

I was married to a guy who wouldnt let me dye my hair, get a tatto, or wear certain clothing etc, i left. Its controlling behaviour, get out of it before he controls your very soul.

[Lonnie]

Hi missjef,
I'm totally against tattoos on women, (a bit of a Chauvanist), however, as has been said, he's 100% in the wrong, its your body to decorate how you want, and he should be with you for you, and suppoting you, the whole package,

If he treats you that way, i'd say he's not worth the time of day.

[Bathsheba]

Hi missjef. He sounds like a shallow waste of space. Get rid. End of. Luv Bath x

[Jugglering]

So you like tatts and piercings and he doesn't... what do you have in common ? How on earth did you two get together ? He obviously realised what you were into when you first started seeing each other, so why is he suddenly bothered about the tatts and piercings now ? Nope, it sounds like the others are right - he's not wanting you as an equal *partner* but as someone he can control... as Lonnie says, he's not worth the time of day. Get shot of this fella, rapido !

[Postdog]

I think you are both in the wrong and unsuited. It's always the little things like this that cause problems and if the differences were there to start, you both should have seen the signs. That said, I must say I agree with him in that I personally find tats and peircings, or the need to get them, a real turn off.

[froggequene]

Dump him.

[styley]

If he's calling you those names he probably doesn't really respect you that much. And it will probably get worse. Move on if you don't want to be depressed all your life, cos that's what he'll make you feel.

[daffy654]

I think there is a bit of wrong on both sides here.He should never have called you all those names and made you feel worthless.You also are partly in the wrong because knowing full well that he didn't want you to have another piercing you went and had it done anyway.You obviously are not well suited to each other.

[Beads]

He sounds like a total eejit! Don't ever deny yourself your true identity as you'll never be happy. If that was me I'd tell i>him where to go. Don't change for anyone. If he can't love you for you, then he isn't worth it.

[missjef]

thankyou for the answers guys.. just thought i'd post a little update.
My boyfriend sort of broke up with me via text last night!! - considering it'll have been a year together in may, thought i deserved a bit better!
So i rang him and he said he just didn't know what he wants but at the moment that's how he feels, so we're going to have a talk today. He's said now he wants to try talk things out and make it work, but i think i need to make sure he knows that i have to be loved by him even if i am covered head to toe in tattoos (even though i never will!), i just want him to accept me as me basically!
i think if i can accept his obsession with football then he can cope with a few piercings!

[andrea81]

Don't let him make the decisions though, YOU don't have to get back with HIM either! Maybe I'm wrong, but if he could break up with over a text and now wants to talk, I don't think he's the one!

I doubt it very much it was even about the piercing, if you have a lot anyway, why would this one mattered?

My opinion is that he used it as an excuse!

Sorry if I'm harsh, but I just thought you would prefere my honest opinion!

Good luck tough, you know your relationship most, so you know whats best!

[froggequene]

He doesn't even have the common courtesy to pick & the phone to say he might like to break up and you think it's worth a second chance? Break up by text is cold & cowardly, even to open that conversation by text is weak

Piercings vs football? Completely different things

If he's dumped you, stay dumped & find someone more worthy of you