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[Rondy]

I Was in a movie today called 'Cling film'
Got a bit irritated when the director said 'You can go home now it's a wrap'

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BREAKING NEWS:- MAN KILLED BY STEAMROLLER
Police are not sure what happened as evidence is thin on the ground.

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Scientists claim that one day robots will replace soldiers…
I Can't imagine anyone wanting to dip a robot into their boiled egg!

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ME: How was school today son?"
SON: "We studied guhzintahs."
ME: "Guhzintahs? What are they?"
SON: "You know, like 7 guhzintah 28 four times."

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Tried to climb a big tower in France
But Eiffel off.

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A friend of mine asked if I believed in Monogamy.
I said, "Believe in it! I've got a table made of it."

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I might be getting a Christmas job delivering mail.
I'll keep you posted.

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Two flies land on Kojak’s head, one turns to other and says:" Look we're on Telly!

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ME: “How's my Mother-in-law nurse?”
NURSE: “I’m afraid she’s critical.”
ME: “Ah, you get used to that.”

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The sign on the door read "Press."
I did.
The door opened.
The room was full of journalists.

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Did you hear about the gypsy that won the lottery?
He was paid in travellers cheques.

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Two eggs sitting on a kitchen table. One of them spots a whisk and asks :"What`s that?"
The other egg looks puzzled and replies "Beats me"

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[Patsy33]

I like them!.. 😁😆😅

[zebo]

Factors were always known as guzinters in some classes!

[fourteen85]

I recall Jethro coming home and saying to Jed Clampitt that they had been doing Guzzintas