Possible pregnancy boyfriend reacting in a bad way

[bambiboo78]

Been with my bf for 3 years now (known him much longer), early this month we had unprotected sex..he was completely aware I was no longer taking any form of contraception & used the pull out method despite me telling him to use a condom, now my period is almost 7 days late, he has reacted in a very immature way accusing me of being a selfish bitch, telling me I will have a termination if i am pregnant. He is usually so caring, mature & sensitive, we both have our own places are in our early 30s & neither of us have any children yet, not sure what is wrong with him, if i am pregnant i will 100% be keeping it but i cannot believe he is being so selfish, everyday he is texting me telling me to get a test & asking why i'm not bleeding yet, he's refusing rational conversation, we aren't talking for this reason at the moment. I'm in shock we were absolutely fine until i missed my period & since then he has been irrational, childish & mad!!! Know he loves me & he loves kids so what has gotten him???

[andy-hughes]

I am reluctant to play the 'common sense' card here, but what on earth were you doing having unprotected sex unless you were specifically trying to get pregnant?

If you ask your partner to use a condom and he refuses, and you still consent to sex, then you are being seriously irresponsible. Intercourse is a biological function, its purpose is to get you pregnant, so it's weighed seriously in favour of that result.

If you consent to sex without contraception and you are not intending to become pregnant, then you are dicing with nature, which is a seriously foolish thing to do, with life-chaning consequences.

Surelu you are too old and mature to fool about in this sexual Russian roulette?

You have had a lucky escape, next time you may not be so lucky, and obviously this man is not ready for a child with you, so you had better be ready to have a child alone.

You are both adult in age - time to start being adult in your behaviour.

[Canary42]

Totally agree with a-h. And perhaps you're not for each other anyway - personally if I was you I would dump him after being called a selfish bitch.

[Old_Geezer]

I'd suggest you don't have to actually try to start a pregnancy in order to have unprotected sex, but you need to be content to take up the parental role with your partner if someone does result. To knowingly have unprotected sex and then freak out seems a little immature.

[bambiboo78]

lol i don't care what you say we're getting married this year he just wants a baby the old fashioned way in wedlock

[andy-hughes]

LOL? No need to ask complete strangers why you don't know someone with whom you have a sexual relationship is behaving in this immature fashion, but you still intend to marry him and have children?

GROW UP!

[bambiboo78]

JEALOUS MUCH LMAO, he was at work i couldn't talk to him, don't take yourselves so seriously christ i didn't ask for a character appraisal just if it was possible to be pregnant when getting negative tests

[bambiboo78]

Andy thought that's what this forum was for asking strangers questions it's an anonymous forum for exactly that reason, but then you're hiding behind a screen aren't you, doubt you would ever dare be so rude in real life

[andy-hughes]

Oh believe me I would!!!!!

[bambiboo78]

but i would never tell you in real life that's the point, that's what an anonymous forum is for asking advice from strangers i didn't ask for a critique of my lifestyle or character just wanted a question answering

[B00]

Well that was a lucky escape for you BB.

however, now I know you didn't ask for this, but im gonna say it anyway...

I'd seriously question whether I still wanted to be with a man who reacted the way he did to a possible pregnancy.

Calling you a selfish bitch and telling you that you were having a termination? He'd be out the door before he could blink if this was me i'm afraid.

[bambiboo78]

but then i'm sorry i'm sure nobody else has never had a pregnancy scare or had words with their partner, shouldn't have spilled my guts out on here i guess, won't be doing that again any time soon, maybe in another 6 years, goodbye & goodluck answerbank it's been fun

[B00]

oh...

Fair 'nuff!

Tata :-)

[bambiboo78]

Boo thanks you're right but like i said he did react like that initially but then calmed down & was very supportive i was just updating the post that i wasn't pregnant as people had asked me to update

[bambiboo78]

Bye x

[andy-hughes]

I suggest you are new here?

You will find out with time that people will answer your question, and also debate around it, and expland some of the points made - as has happened on this thread.

You began by asking why your boyfriend was so freaked out at the thought that you were pregnant.

This is a man who declined to protect you from pregnancy even after you asked him so to do - and you then permitted intercourse whuch could very probably have led to pregnancy.

You then wondered why this man was so upset at the thought of fatherhood.

You are both old enough (I assume he is of a similar age) to be able to approach sex and its consequences in an adult manner instead of pretending that the concept of unproteced sex resulting in pregnancy is something that only happens on TV.

After the thread commenced, you referred to him knowing you were not prtected, but 'he' - it was actually both of you - continued to have sex, and you say 'what can you do??'

You could try saying No, I don;t want to risk getting pregnant, so no condom, no sex - and since you are the person in this relationship who will conceive and birth the baby, that is yoiur absolute right - which you chose not to exercise.

I repeat, you took a dangerous risk, and got away with it, but your apparent lack of understanding of your partner's reactions suggests that he is certainly not ready for children - or indeed marriage, and you should think again before embarking on either course with him.

You both need to understand the concepts of adult behaviour before you embark on taking this relationship any further, and in case you have not learned the message - unrprotected sex is designed to lead to pregnancy - get your boyfriend a biology book, and tell him to grow up as well.

[katdarn79]

I cant believe someone in there 30s would think the pull out method actually worked, also why did you stop taking contraception if your boyfriend dosent want kids until your married?

[bambiboo78]

Thanks for the information I feel I've really learnt something thanks, no I used to come on here 6 years ago if you check out my profile. We had a heated argument then day I wrote this post & I didn't want to discuss it with anyone in real life at the time so vented on here, was just so relieved I came on my period today wanted to update all my posts & let people know as some nice people had asked me to. Yes he's not perfect but like I said he came round & has apologised & been supportive the last few days. Neither of us have children we don't want them until after we marry but I get very broody at times, will just have to wait until we marry in July, Sorry for any offence my ridiculously irresponsible act caused people.

[Sqad]

Well......a good , sensible and well written reply by andy and an answer to your post katdarn.

I fear that it is not as straightforward as being astute, sensible and mature in contraception.

I do not know the answer to my question, but I would ask how many pregnancies are UNplanned......more than you would think I would say and also in all socio-economic groups and in the 20,s 30,s 40s and even well educated women in their 50's may have an unwanted pregnancy.

Sex is quite often unplanned, on the spur of the moment and spontaneous (probably the best sex) and contraception and planning is pushed to the background.

Don't be too hard on the unfortunates.

[whiskeryron]

bambiboo78, Goodbye come back on here when you have become a mature woman & we will all be happy to listen & talk to you.

W Ron.

[Sqad]

whiskereyon......bit harsh, I would say.

if all the immature Abers were asked to leave and return on maturity, AB would be pretty thin on the ground.