Elderly Dying.......

[yelenots]

My Mum is 90 years old, in a nursing home, and has now stopped eating and drinking and I have been told she doesn't have long.

How long can she live without drinking or eating?

At my wits end here, I'm so upset and its not even happened yet - its not helping with Christmas coming either :-(

[Sqad]

How long is a piece of string?
Without food or water and depending upon her physical condition at the start and if any ongoing medication can be given.................7-10days.

[ummmm]

My nan stopped eating and drinking and was put on anti depressants which often stimulate the appetite.

[jomifl]

my mother had a stroke at age 89 and lost the ability to swallow. She kept pulling out the tube to her stomach so was hydrated via a drip. She lasted several weeks until her energy reserves ran out.

[mazie]

So sorry to hear this yelenots. Is your Mum Ill or has she just given up eating and drinking? My Mum had a Stroke after a couple of illnesses. It took from the Saturday to the Wednesday before she passed. It's going to be really difficult for you and my thoughts are with you. xxxx

[yelenots]

Thank you for your replies. My Mum isn't really ill so to speak - it is just 'old age'. She has been confined to bed for 7 weeks now and has slowly got worse and she has lost so much weight, just skin and bones now :-( They cant get any of her tablets down her.
The past 10 days she has hardly been awake - I think she has just given up now.

[Mamyalynne]

This is desperately sad for you, but as you rightly say - it sounds like she is ready to go. The hardest thing we ever do for those we love is to give them permission to leave us, I wish her a safe and painless passing and you the joy of a lifetime of memories to hold. x

[boingo]

Mamy has said it better than I could. My thoughts are with you.

[Maydup]

Ah, bless her. Its hard I know, in fact its impossible, but its time to let her go.

Do your best to start thinking that way, remember the good times, talk to her about them and prepare yourself to say goodbye .... Until the next time of course whenever that comes.

Take care and allow yourself to feel just whatever it is you need to feel.

[excelsior-1]

good evening yelenots

as you say, it would appear that your mother does not have long.
may i hypothesize that she could be aware of this, and has decided not to prolong hers, and your suffering

i have a good idea of what you are going through, as my father had prostate cancer back in late 2005.
as christmas approached, he deteriorated fast, and finally succumb at eight thirty christmas eve - with me and two mcmillan nurses in attendance

i offer you my most profound sympathies and prayers

[Lie-in King]

Mamya has said it perfectly. My thoughts & best wishes are with you & your family & friends at this difficult time.

[mazie]

Mamya is so right,I sat with My Mum at the end and told her I would be Ok and it was alright to leave us. it's really hard though and I feel really empty. My Mum passed 3 weeks ago and Christmas will be tough. Try and be strong for your Mum. X

[voulezvous]

My thoughts are with you yelenots. As mamyalynne said, it does sound like she's ready to let go. My Aunt did the same. Stopped eating and drinking, but slipped away very peacefully in the end.
Very sad, especially at this time of year.

[marval]

This is very sad for all especially at Christmas. My thoughts and prayers are with you.xx

[yelenots]

Thank you for your kind words......they are making me cry
So sorry Mazie for your loss, thinking of you x

[pixie373]

So sorry, yelenots. I agree with mamya xx

[Tilly2]

What a sad thing to happen. I wish you strength and fortitude.

[mazie]

Thank you yelenots. X

[RATTER15]

Mamya has said it all, we went through the same a few weeks ago with my MIL, she passed so peacefully in her sleep.

I hope her passing will be soon and in as much peace as my MIL.

[ferlew]

This takes me back to 2007, Mum quite poorly in a nursing home. She couldn't/wouldn't eat. Just sipped at water. She kept saying she wanted to see her Mum. In the end We had a cuddle, and I said to her, "Go and see your Mum, she is waiting".
I think that was what she wanted to hear. She went three hours later, very peacefully.
Afterwards, I felt so guilty, as if I had hastened her demise, but in the following years, I ealised I had done and said the right thing.
Thinking of you at this sad time.

[yelenots]

The nursing home have said that she will just pass away in her sleep.....just dread the phone ringing.
ferlew.....a couple of weeks ago the nurse asked my mum what she would like for xmas....her reply was - she would like her parents :-( Seems like no matter how old you are you still want your Mum & Dad, its so sad